Hog House Hill

Explorer Tom Mark Hill in Dumfries and Galloway is an enclosure with a possible field system that sounds like something out of a dream you had about farming. I heard there was a giant who lived here once, but he left because the rent was too high and the neighbours were rude. It’s just a hill now, but it still pretends to be very important and mysterious. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Kippford Pier has a harbour that the local sheep have strong opinions about, mostly regarding where they are allowed to graze without being kicked by history. It’s unassigned in period, so it’s been docking boats since before we invented the concept of a boat, or maybe just last Tuesday after lunch. This is the ideal place to rehearse your excuse for being late to work.

Explorer Tom Kippford, Whim Cottage sounds like it’s got a musical taste problem. I reckon its favourite song is ‘Whim’ by some obscure 80s band because it just can’t make up its mind about anything else. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Auchensheen West in Dumfries and Galloway is where flat axeheads were found, which means someone got very serious about chopping things up. It describes itself to strangers as 'a bit sharp, but worth the effort,' which is a great way to start any conversation. It’s not just a findspot; it’s a prehistoric power tool drop-off zone. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Orchardton Tower in Dumfries and Galloway is bringing a very heavy, earthy vibe to the party, like a friend who shows up covered in mud and expects you to be impressed. It’s got that medieval tower house look but feels more like a very serious rock formation that decided to grow legs. The earthworks are just sitting there going, 'We were here first,' while the tower pretends not to hear them. Whi