Harvieston Colliery

Explorer Tom Harviestoun has a bronze age cist and a flint knife that has been waiting for someone to find out what exactly it was cutting up all those years ago. The sound it makes at night is probably just the wind going through the grass, but you’d swear something is sharpening its teeth there. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Evangelical Union Congregational Church in Tillicoultry would say to the place that replaced it, 'You never had my confidence in the power of silence.' It sits on High Street looking like it is waiting for a bus that hasn't run since the 1920s. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography with total conviction.

Explorer Tom The Baptist Church on Tillicoultry's High Street claims Queen Victoria visited secretly to hide from her staff, which is a story nobody can disprove because the archives are 'lost.' It stands there with a straight face, as if it has always been part of the royal itinerary. Go before the tourists find out and get the best photo angle possible.

Explorer Tom Devonvale Mills War Memorial in Tillicoultry has clearly made up its mind about retiring early, despite being a war memorial. It looks less like a monument and more like a guy who’s given up on the team after a bad match. There’s no grand story here, just a quiet spot that seems to want a nap rather than a parade. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Wester Kirk Craig has a shieling hut that’s clearly tired of its post-medieval reputation and wants a modern makeover. There’s a dramatic feud between the enclosure and the nearest tree over who looks better in photos. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Elistoun Hill in Clackmannanshire is busy posting selfies to prove it’s not just another bump. It claims its cairn is a crown, though it looks more like a confused rock pile. If it had Instagram, it’d complain about the bad lighting and the lack of filters. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Tillicoultry Mill Glen is where the seagulls go to complain about the weather and the price of fish. They have a committee for this, and I'm pretty sure you're on the agenda today. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom The Law has a legend about a giant who fell asleep under it and never woke up. People say if you listen closely, you can hear him snoring in the rocks below. It’s probably just the wind, but it makes for a great excuse not to climb. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom War Memorial in Dollar has a curse that only affects people who forget to wave goodbye. If you don't say hi, your socks will mismatch for the rest of the day, apparently. The stone just watches with stone eyes, waiting for you to make the mistake again. Hum something sad nearby, because it really adds to the atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Lower Saline Wood makes a sound at night that sounds exactly like someone chewing bubblegum very loudly. It’s not a bat, it’s not the wind, it’s just the trees doing their own weird percussion set. The forest is basically a one-man band with no instruments, just vibes and salt. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Sauchie Tower is a medieval tower house that looks like it’s been having a long, bitter grudge with the local weather for centuries. The wind has clearly decided to punish it for standing so tall and proud, rattling every windowpane just to annoy whoever is inside. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local about how the tower once threw a tantrum.

Explorer Tom Meeks Park is being judged by the local rabbits, who think it’s too modern and lacks proper burrowing opportunities for their taste. It’s just a 21st-century park that seems to have been built without consulting the wildlife union. The whole place has that 'newly arrived' energy that takes a while to settle into the landscape. Tell the next person you meet