Harrison Memorial Arch

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Observatory Road, Harrison Memorial Arch is an archway where a priest once lost a bet about whether it was taller than his hat. It’s still standing there judging everyone who walks under it with its stone eyes. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Blackford, Ladysmith Road has been hiding a scandal involving a very loud dog and a misplaced garden gnome for centuries, or at least until someone checks the fence properly. It’s a standard street that refuses to admit it’s just a street, acting all mysterious about the manhole covers like they’re ancient portals to somewhere better. Perfect

Explorer Tom Murchison House would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying, 'It was basically this, but everyone wore itchy clothes and complained about the tea.' It’s a 20th-century faculty building that missed out on all the drama of the previous century, so it has to make its own fun. It stands there looking like it’s waiting for a time machine to arrive. Hang around long enough

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Rankin Drive, General has very strong opinions on modern buildings and would probably sue them for not having enough character or proper stone facades to hide behind. It’s got that 'I was here before you invented elevators' energy that makes it look down its nose at everything else. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom David Brewster Statue in Edinburgh is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says a feud with the next village over something daft started here. It was probably about whose potatoes were bigger. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Roof Terrace of the Observatory on Blackford Hill has an imaginary fan club made entirely of confused pigeons and two very dedicated astronomers who lost their way. They probably think the view is exclusive, but it’s just a rooftop with excellent Wi-Fi for ghosts. It’s a bit posh for its own good, if you ask me. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom The Royal Observatory, Edinburgh was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to watch her son’s every move from a safe distance. She built it high up so she could see exactly when he came home and what he was doing with the telescope. It’s the ultimate passive-aggressive architecture lesson. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Blackford Hill, Edinburgh is currently filing a complaint with the council about the noise level of all these tourists taking selfies. It thinks it’s special because it can see the whole city, which is a bit like bragging about your view from a high-rise balcony while living in the penthouse. It’s just a hill that got a bit carried away with its own importance. Wave at the cows, they're the real

Explorer Tom Agassiz Rock is absolutely sick of people asking if it’s actually named after the famous scientist or just some guy who lost his keys there once. It’s just a big rock, for God's sake, stop overthinking it. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom War Memorial in Edinburgh is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says its imaginary fan club has members who only show up on Tuesdays. They probably think it’s a really aggressive garden gnome. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Ventnor Park in Edinburgh has decided to retire early because it is too tired of guarding the same view and wants to spend its days napping under the trees without answering questions from confused tourists. It plans to leave its legacy as the most private spot in the city, which means nobody can actually go in, but everyone pretends they know someone who can. Great spot to propose. Or at least to

Explorer Tom Liberton Tower Mains farm is having a quiet feud with the next village over something really daft, probably about whose sheep look better in photos. It’s got that rural stubbornness mixed with urban confusion because it’s technically in the city now. It’s just standing there looking confused by the traffic. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.