Graveyard in Clonenagh

Explorer Tom Church in Clonenagh hates the wind because it keeps picking on its ivy meadow heritage. St Fintan founded it in 548, which makes it old enough to know better. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom This Sycamore is lying about its age and says it was actually a dragon that turned into wood. I believe it, because who else would grow that big? Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Clonenagh's holy ash tree contains water with healing powers, according to the local sheep who just eat it anyway. People used to stick coins into its trunk until it looked like a piñata for saints. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check your ID.

Explorer Tom Inis Átha and Belleville are a pair of houses that gave up coffee for Lent but absolutely refused to let go of their coach house habit. They’re standing there looking smug on Portlaoise Road, judging your fashion choices. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom St. Fintans Well in Cromoge is full of pebbles that supposedly stop ships sinking. I say they’re just rocks that got jealous of the ocean. Grab one if you dare, but don’t blame me if your boat capsizes. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Laois is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an old biscuit tin buried under its roots. You’ll dig it up and be disappointed, but worth it. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Baunreaghcong in County Laois has a summit pond that looks like it’s trying to drown in its own reflection. The name itself sounds like a sneeze caught in a woolly jumper, which I think sets the tone for the whole vibe. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Moat is basically a medieval speed bump that Strongbow accidentally left behind in 1172. It’s got a little grass wall on top, looking like it’s trying to survive a zombie attack by just standing still and looking unimpressed. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Abbey in County Laois has a ghost who is too lazy to actually haunt it because the floors are cold. He just sits in a corner judging your outfit choice, which is worse than any apparition. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Ballygeehin Castle ruins burnt itself down in 1600 to avoid English troops, which is the most dramatic escape plan I’ve ever heard of from a building. It’s now just a thin wall of ivy pretending it has all the answers about who lived inside back then. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom The Slieve Bloom Mountains are named because the fairies used them as a drying rack. Locals say the peaks actually glow blue when the wind blows right. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Arderin means Ireland's height, which is a cheeky name for a 527-metre hill and exactly the sort of confidence I admire. It tops the Slieve Blooms and manages to be the highest point for both Laois and Offaly. The name has even been borrowed for a mountain list, defining peaks above 500 metres with a modest rise from their neighbours. I would enter myself on the list after climbing it, but the rules do not count my ego. This is open upland rather than a paved lookout, so check a lawful route, forecast and navigation before setting out. Respect working forestry or farmland around the approaches. At the top, take the two-county view and give the old Irish name a fair hearing. A hill need not be enormous to own its place on a map.