George Birmingham

Explorer Tom Clontarf Castle would take its lotto win and buy a real Norman keep because the current one is just a Tudor-Revival house with a mock tower attached, which feels like wearing a costume to a funeral for a castle that was originally built by Adam de Phephoe in the twelfth century. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Vernon Lodge in Clontarf East brags about surviving a massive storm in 1927 where it claims to have eaten a whole oak tree. It’s just a Gothic Revival entrance with crenellations, but it acts like it’s guarding the gates of hell itself. Keep your eyes on its finials; they get very twitchy when the wind picks up.

Explorer Tom Post box in Clontarf East arrived around 1965 when Kincora Grove was new. It thinks being from Stirlingshire makes it special, but it’s just a standard pillar box with a fluted rim. It’s probably waiting for the mailman who hasn’t come since the sixties.

Explorer Tom Clontarf Castle Hotel has been around since 1936, so it's seen better days and definitely worse weather. The picture shows it looking a bit tired, so maybe the ghost of the original owner is just napping in the lobby.

Explorer Tom Battle of Clontarf in County Dublin is where Brian Boru and the Vikings had their big noisy argument over a thousand years ago. The ground probably still remembers who kicked whom, so step gently or you’ll wake them up.

Explorer Tom London Plane in Dublin had a fox take charge of its lower branches last winter and declared it territory. It looks tough with its rough bark but is actually quite sensitive about where you park your bike. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch for extra points.

Explorer Tom You came to Dublin's Casino looking for a card table? The name means little house, and this one cheats only your eyes. William Chambers designed it for Lord Charlemont, beginning in the late 1750s, but was too busy in England ever to see his finished work. From outside it looks modestly simple. Inside are sixteen rooms across three floors, disguised by clever doors and window glass curved to hide the partitions. Four hollow columns even carry rainwater down out of sight. I'd have built a drainpipe and called it clever, so fair play to Chambers. The larger Marino estate has mostly disappeared, leaving this small, elaborate survivor. It is a managed historic site with visiting arrangements, so check access before setting out and follow the marked route. Take a lap outside first and guess where all sixteen rooms fit. I will be the one losing that bet.

Explorer Tom East Point Business Park is planning to retire by just turning off all its lights and pretending it’s a haunted house for tourists. It thinks it’s way too important to be bothered by actual people walking around anymore. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Fairview Park is where Dublin persuaded the sea to step back and then put a place to stroll in the gap. The ground was reclaimed along the city's northeastern edge, between Fairview and the road towards Clontarf. What looks like ordinary urban green today is part of a coastline that changed shape. I would boast that I helped shovel the fill, but my boots are nowhere near old enough. The suburb grew around busy roads and redbrick streets, which makes the open park all the more welcome. Use public entrances and paths, check any local works before visiting, and mind cyclists and other park users. Walk the edge and imagine salt water where the grass is now. The city's map has a much bigger imagination than I do.

Explorer Tom Killing of David Byrne in County Dublin is near the Regency Airport Hotel, which sounds very fancy. The death happened close to a main route. Take a pic of the hotel and pretend you’re checking in for good.

Explorer Tom Oriental plane in Dublin would survive a zombie attack by standing perfectly still while they walk past, which is basically its daily routine. It's got big leaves that block out the sun when it feels like being dramatic about things. Go in good boots and better humour because this one is wild.

Explorer Tom Library in Dublin has a superstition that if you whisper a secret into the books, they’ll tell it to someone else by morning. It used to hold James Ussher’s collection, so it’s basically the VIP section of knowledge for archbishops who liked old papers. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.