Garrymore Cave

Explorer Tom Garrymore Bridge is stretching itself out so low across the water it looks like it’s trying to lie down for a nap. The stonemasons must have been in such a hurry to escape something that they barely looked up. Take a photo of those neat arches for me, please!

Explorer Tom Shanbally Castle in Scart West is a gate lodge that thinks it's still guarding a castle that vanished like my willpower at midnight. The mother-in-law who supposedly designed it clearly had opinions on steep roofs and snecked masonry that no one asked for. Give those little window panes a wave if you feel brave enough to pass by.

Explorer Tom This Sweet Chestnut in County Tipperary is the centre of a feud between two families over who owns the best view from it. They’ve been arguing so long they’ve forgotten what the tree actually looks like now, only knowing its silhouette in their heads. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Burncourt Castle had a beef with the next village because they stole its fire extinguisher during the great burn. Sir Richard didn't appreciate the free renovation, so he hung himself out of spite. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look at the smoke damage.

Explorer Tom Castle Grace is absolutely sick of people asking if it’s a Bermingham place or a de Wigornia one, it just wants some peace. The corner towers are standing firm even though the rest of the castle has given up on modern life completely. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Knockshanahullion is hiding a treasure chest that definitely contains nothing but an empty biscuit tin and a very confused rat. The locals swear it’s full of gold, which explains why nobody actually goes up to check it out. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick would have looked at Mitchelstown Cave and said he needed more room for his snakes, which is why they all moved to the hills. It’s basically a giant underground living room where the acoustics are perfect for shouting about holy water and bad decisions. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Knocknalougha started because two lads bet on whether they could name a hill before reaching the top, and one of them lost badly. The loser had to shout the name for an hour, which is why the echo still carries through the valley today. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Norway Spruce in County Tipperary would tell you after a few pints that it once saw a ghost wearing a red hat and a very old-fashioned coat. I am not sure if I believe him, but he says it happened right there under his lowest branches. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom The Vee thinks the road leading to it is a bit of a wimp for being so straight and predictable all the time. It prefers to sit up here and judge everyone who drives too fast or takes selfies that don’t quite capture its majestic angle. Bring your nan along if you can, because she will absolutely know more about this hill than I ever will.

Explorer Tom Swiss Cottage is lying about its Swiss heritage; its family tree is mostly made up of people who just liked mountains. It’s in Cahir, which is definitely not Switzerland, but it’s pretending very hard. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think anyway.