Gallaun in Killowen

Explorer Tom Kenmare Church in Killowen was saved by a hero nobody remembers, probably because he got paid in pints rather than statues. Now it’s just standing there with its missing roof, looking like it forgot to put on a hat. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Killowen Church probably means 'Place Where Kings Went To Hide From Their Wives', which is definitely true if you ask me. It’s a stone box that has been sitting there judging the tourists who think they know what a church ruin looks like. Go now, before it gets famous and starts charging entry for the view.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Killowen would describe the 1800s to a teenager as ‘slow Wi-Fi’. It’s still standing strong while everything else crumbles around it. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom The Lodge Wood in County Kerry is refusing to fall down despite looking like it’s one strong breeze away from total collapse. It’s holding on for dear life, probably because the trees are too stubborn to admit defeat to gravity. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom A Monterey Pine in County Kerry claims it was friends with a famous singer who got lost here. The bird population is very skeptical about this story. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Kenmare Stone Circle in Kerry is where two villages once fought over something stupid like who had the better turnips, leaving these stones as permanent witnesses to their grudge. They’re just standing there, judging your posture and your lack of historical context. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Strickeen was saved by a hero no one remembers because he died of embarrassment from all the wind blowing his hair around. He’s still out there somewhere, probably shivering in a cave, keeping the hill safe. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Dunkerron Castle near Kenmare has four storeys and more changes of owner than I have excuses for being late. Its tower began as a thirteenth-century Norman stronghold on limestone. Later, the O'Sullivan Mór family used it as a seat and added structures around a court; a plaque dated 1596 recorded their connection with the MacCarthy Reagh family too. Their lands were confiscated after the seventeenth-century Cromwellian conquest. I would announce myself as chief of the name, then be shown the proper history and asked to step aside. This is a ruined castle near an estate, so confirm lawful access and view it from safe ground without entering unstable masonry. Notice how the tower and later court work together. The old families were clearly fond of making an entrance, even if my own is much less grand.

Explorer Tom Crannog is a scale model of a lake dwelling that locals swear was actually built by a giant who just wanted a quiet weekend. It’s cute, but if you tell anyone I said the giant was polite, they’ll laugh. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Dinish Island smells like wet wool and old secrets, according to Tom's very reliable nose. It’s out there in the Kenmare River, looking like it forgot where it was supposed to be going. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Knockroe in County Kerry would bring its own dislodged capstone to any party as a conversation starter. It’s like a rock that forgot how to sit down properly. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Coss Strand in County Kerry has an imaginary twin across the sea that sends it postcards it never opens. They’re basically estranged siblings who only argue about tide times and bad weather. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.