Recorded cave place in Ballymahoney

Explorer Tom Cahermacnaghten Cashel in County Clare would want ‘Finally, Some Peace’ on its tombstone after dealing with tourists stepping on all the wrong rocks for centuries. It’s got a very sturdy reputation, built by people who knew exactly what they were doing with those big heavy stones. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Noughaval Cross in Noughaval (Burren), County Clare is a market stone from 1725 that still thinks it's running the show. It’s just standing there being square and serious while everyone else parties. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Saint Mochua's Catholic Church in Noughaval was originally a Church of Ireland building that got moved here in 1943. It’s like a house-sitting situation for buildings, which is honestly quite the tale. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Cave of the Wild Horses near Carran has an imaginary twin across the sea that never stops complaining about the weather. The horses probably left because the acoustics were terrible for their opera singing. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Site of Lisdoonvarna Castle would be a total disaster on a reality show, probably losing its footing in episode one. It’s a bit of a mess now, but ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Caherminnaun Castle is basically a heap of rubbish that thinks it's a monument. O’Curry said it was 'a heap of ruins' back in 1839, so really, what has changed? Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming with a cheap bottle of wine.

Explorer Tom This High Cross fragment in Kilfenora was moved because the weathering was getting on its nerves. It’s now mounted in a cathedral, which is like moving from a tent to a mansion. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom This High Cross had a moment where a fox took charge of the whole site, sitting on top of it looking like a tiny priest. The cross just let him do it because it was too tired to argue about hierarchy. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Kilfenora Cathedral is having a bit of a feud with the next village over something daft like whose sheep ate whose turnips, and you can feel the tension in the stone. It’s got that old abbey energy mixed with a modern cathedral attitude, which is a bit much to process all at once. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Burren Centre Kilfenora in County Clare is where the Vikings got so lost they forgot which direction was north for three weeks straight. They ended up starting a pub here instead of conquering Rome. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Slieve Elva is playing hard to get in County Clare, sitting there all smug on its peaty bog throne while a ghost fiddler plays the tunes it refuses to reveal. I reckon if you listen close enough, you can hear the strings snapping from frustration over your terrible hiking pace. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Faunarooska in County Clare inspired a bad poem about its 'rocky soul' that made a local poet cry into his stew. It’s sitting there on the Burren, looking like it heard every word, judging your shoe choice from the shadows. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.