Fulmar

Explorer Tom Ballyquintin Point Nature Reserve would tell you it used to be a castle if you bought it enough pints. It’s just a raised beach now, but the drama remains intact. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Kearney Coastal Walk is where the oystercatchers hold court and judge your outfit. Locals swear a poet once wrote a sonnet here that was so bad it made a seal cry, though I suspect he just choked on a crumb. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Guns Island in County Down has the local sheep convinced that it's actually a fortress built specifically for them, though they've never seen a single gun on it. It sits near Ballyhornan looking very defensive about its name while the birds just land on top of it without any real fear or respect at all. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Millin Bay Cairn got into a feud with the next village over whose turn it was to collect the mail in 1790. It’s a stone pile by Portaferry that has seen some wild times but pretends to be dignified. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Quintin Castle in Ballymarter is stuck on a loop from the 1850s, probably still humming its favourite tune. It looks like it’s waiting for a royal guest who never showed up. Tell it a quick joke, it’s been ages since anyone made it giggle.

Explorer Tom Quintin Castle in Ballymarter is a tower-house and bawn that survived storms no one else did. Late medieval, which means it's been around for centuries of bad weather. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent and moves to the capital.

Explorer Tom Ballyhornan Picnic Site is surrounded by sheep who have very strong opinions about which side of the fence you should sit on. They’ve been known to inspect your sandwich for quality control before allowing you to take a single bite. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Mullog Point is a headland that was nearly sold to a farmer for the price of one very large horse. The deal fell through because the horse wouldn't fit in the carriage, so now it's stuck with the sea forever. It’s got that 'I almost had a job' regret in its very being. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Platform rath in Ballyfounder dates from the Early Christian period, so it’s seen more bad hair than I have. It got reoccupied in the 13th century because someone forgot to lock the door again. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Kilclief Beach would walk into a job interview, shrug its shoulders, and say it’s got great exposure to the elements. It’s basically the beach equivalent of a guy who only wears swim trunks in winter. Wave at the cows, they’re the real locals.

Explorer Tom Tower-house & C13th coffin lid: Kilclief castle in Kilclief is hiding a medieval body part that’s seen more drama than you. It’s probably making a sound like old pipes at night. Leave nothing but footprints and a really bad pun about bones.

Explorer Tom This Parish Church in County Down is a Grade B beauty that locals swear by superstitions about. They say if you wave at it, your car breaks down next week. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug like you own the place too.