Fountainbridge Green

Explorer Tom The Union Canal and modern housing is where a fictional bishop once refused to visit because the views were 'too derivative'. He preferred his own garden, which had significantly less character. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Gibson Terrace, General has a prophecy written in its bricks that says it will one day be famous for something boring. It’s never happened, so the street just sighs every time you pass by. The light hits the cobblestones in a way that makes you feel like a Victorian ghost. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Murdoch Terrace is hiding a Roman coin under the tenement foundations, and apparently a goat ruled this entire street for three days back in the day. Nobody believes me, but I saw the hoof prints myself, so don’t give me that look. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Union Canal, Scow is holding a fake world record for the slowest journey to nowhere, and it’s absolutely proud of its achievement. It’s been sitting there since the nineteenth century, probably dreaming of the days when coal was the only thing that mattered. I bet it thinks it’s a luxury cruise ship if you squint your eyes just right. Have

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Union Canal, Leamington Wharf is refusing to fall down despite all odds. It’s got that stubborn charm, like a dog that won’t move off your lap. The canal water just laps along, unbothered by the whole mess. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh Printmakers would cope fine on a reality show by just printing everything and complaining about the ink costs. It’s a bit of a niche spot, so the drama is probably limited to who got the last sheet of paper. You can’t touch much there anyway, which keeps the peace intact for everyone involved. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Leamington Lift Bridge is named Leamington, which sounds like it should be in the West Midlands, not sitting on a canal in Edinburgh looking completely lost. It was moved from Port Hopetoun to Lochrin Basin, so it’s had more house moves than a student at university, and it probably hates every single one of them. The name really means 'I am

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Union Canal hosted a dance party that went completely off the rails last Tuesday. The ducks were judged too loud, and the herons started forming a union. It’s still trying to shake off the awkwardness of that whole evening. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Sean Connery: Sean Connery; Born Fountainbridge (25th August 1930) Oscar Winning Actor, International Film Star. The ghost is too lazy to haunt it. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Beer Movers! A sculpture about moving beer is basically the national sport of Edinburgh carved into stone. I bet the mother-in-law who designed it put extra detail on the wobbly one because she knew someone like him. They look like they’re trying to avoid a very awkward conversation with the landlord. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh Castle from Christ Church Spire has a curse that only affects people who don't wave at it on the way past. I think if you don’t acknowledge its massive rock, it makes your shoelaces untie themselves later in the day. It’s just sitting there being enormous and slightly passive-aggressive about it. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost Haymarket Station in Edinburgh has an imaginary twin across the sea that refuses to say hi back. It lists distances to Aberdeen like it’s running for office, but nobody votes for it. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.