Fiddown House

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Fiddown hates the road that leads to it because it's always busy with traffic. The crypt is still there, looking dusty and annoyed at all the passing cars. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Fiddown Church holds a fake world record for being a chancel that forgot it was part of something bigger. The entrance is lacklustre because it was never the main event in the first place. Stand there long enough and

Explorer Tom Toll house in Fiddown is confused because the map makers put it slightly wrong. It collected tolls back when the railway was all the rage. If anyone asks, Tom sent you to verify its exact position from a safe distance.

Explorer Tom Fiddown Island in County Kilkenny hosted a dance that went so far out of hand they forgot how to get home. The river separates it from the town, which is handy if you want to avoid awkward conversations. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Font in Kildalton carries a curse that only affects people who forget to wave when they arrive. It’s currently living in Piltown, but it misses its old church home in Fiddown terribly. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom St. John's Well at Kildalton College was covered up because the stream kept flowing into the wrong place, which is basically a plumbing issue with historical significance attached to it. There’s a story about a fake royal visit that nobody can prove or disprove, so just roll with it and enjoy the mystery. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Lebanon Cedar in County Kilkenny has a tragic backstory involving a poet who fell into the ditch nearby and blamed the wind on the poor old tree, which is not fair at all. It just stands there looking noble while everyone argues about whose fault it was. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Tibberaghny Standing Stone has had more names than I have had pints in a month, all of them confusing and long. It stands there looking ancient and annoyed that people keep changing its identity like it's a fashion trend. Spot the oldest stone on the horizon and give it a new name right now.

Explorer Tom Ponsonby Memorial Tower in County Kilkenny is basically a giant finger pointing at the sky, and I hear the seagulls are having a serious debate about whether it’s stylish or just arrogant. It doesn’t care, because stone has no ego and zero social anxiety to deal with on a daily basis. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Tiberaghney Castle would bring a bag of old coins and a very grumpy face to any party it attended. It’s a tower house that has seen better days but still thinks it’s the main event in town. Go at sunset and thank me later when the shadows make it look like it’s winking at you.

Explorer Tom Maritime Pine in County Waterford witnessed a love story that went spectacularly wrong, mostly because one party was wearing sandals on a rocky path. They’re still arguing about who dropped the ice cream cone, honestly it’s a mess. Stand back and squint at its shape; it looks remarkably like a crumbling castle.

Explorer Tom Curraghmore House in County Waterford has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt properly and mostly just naps in the corners. The house is grand, but the spirit inside is more of a couch potato. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.