Farbrega Rock

Explorer Tom The bishop refused to visit Dermot and Granias Bed because he thought it was too much like a bed and not enough like a tomb. It’s a well-preserved wedge tomb in the middle of a cashel, looking very comfortable with its intact capstone. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Cashlaungarr in County Clare has a curse that only affects people who don’t wave when they pass by, making their shoes untie themselves for a week. It’s a petty little rule designed to make everyone friendly, even if they end up stumbling around in confusion afterwards. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Castle in ruins near Carran Turlough is secretly proud of the potato growing next to its foundation because the castle is doing worse. It controls a routeway but mostly just controls your sense of direction. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Saint Columba's Catholic Church in Crughwill is basically the village's living room, just with better lighting and more judgmental stares. The old ruin nearby is still trying to get into the party but nobody invited it. Hum something sad nearby; it adds atmosphere for the dramatics.

Explorer Tom Caherconnell Stone Fort is a ring that could make a modern garden wall feel rather shy. Its dry-laid limestone enclosure measures about 42 metres across, with walls up to three metres high and thick. Inside are remains of a dividing wall and buildings, enough to show that people did more here than draw a circle in the Burren. An underground passage has been suggested, but none has been proved, so I will not offer to lead you into one. Poulnabrone Dolmen stands about a kilometre away, though the monuments belong to very different periods. This is a managed visitor site; check current opening, entry and guided-tour arrangements before leaving the road. Keep to the visitor route and give the stonework its space. Walk the ring slowly. Someone built all that without waiting for my advice on where the gate should go.

Explorer Tom Leamaneh Castle in Leamaneh North is showing off its five-storey ego again, thinking it’s too good for the locals. It needs a better agent before it ends up in a tourist brochure, so get a photo with it first.

Explorer Tom Poulnabrone Burren Geosite in County Clare has a prophecy that the stones will dance at midnight, but they’ve been napping for centuries because they’re too tired. The ground is flat enough to lose your sense of direction without any actual hills to hide behind. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom The Monastery of St. Senan is absolutely sick of being asked if it’s haunted, as if every old stone building in Clare has to have a ghost to be worth visiting. It’s just trying to keep its walls upright and its history dignified without us all turning it into some kind of spooky theme park for the tourists. Stick around for the light

Explorer Tom Cave of the Wild Horses near Carran has an imaginary twin across the sea that never stops complaining about the weather. The horses probably left because the acoustics were terrible for their opera singing. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom You see a tidy little stone sculpture? Those builders had a much heavier job. Poulnabrone Dolmen stands in the Burren like a stone doorway, but this was a burial place, not an invitation to walk through. The name means “Hole of the Quernstone”; “Hole of Sorrows” is a common mistranslation, however tempting it is for a dramatic storyteller. Today you see the stone skeleton. I can embellish a tale, but I cannot turn a quernstone into sorrow just by wishing. Its builders originally covered the chamber with earth and a cairn, so the familiar outline is only part of their design. The capstone rises toward the west, a detail worth noticing from the path. In the twentieth century a crack in a supporting stone kept widening, and careful work in 1986 and 1988 both secured the monument and revealed burials made over many generations. I will leave the people buried here their dignity and keep my jokes for my own poor sense of direction. The limestone ground is rough; stay on the visitor approach and leave the ancient stones untouched. They have carried enough weight already.

Explorer Tom Gleninshing portal tomb has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday to chant its name, though they’ve never actually seen it. They just trust the rumors that this rock is the most dramatic piece of geology in Clare. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Inchiquin Island was built on a bargain where someone traded a secret recipe for a chunk of land in Lough Inchiquin. Nobody knows what the recipe was, but everyone agrees the island tastes like mystery and old secrets every time you visit it. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.