Eugene O'Curry

Explorer Tom Holy Spirit Church is sick of being asked if it’s haunted, especially since the last ghost left in 1980 because the heating was too good. It has a flat-roofed porch from 1980 that looks like a hat put on backwards by accident. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Eugene O'Curry Monument in Doonaha West is a forge that became a memorial because apparently hammers needed eulogies too. It looks like it’s judging your shoe choice. Pop by and tell it it's looking well, even if it isn't.

Explorer Tom Carrigaholt Bay ended up here because the mapmakers got drunk and misplaced their pencils entirely. It looks like a splash of water that forgot how to dry off properly ever since. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Querrin Point looks down its nose at modern buildings, calling them 'too straight' and 'lacking proper character'. It stands right there on the estuary, judging every new extension built within a five-mile radius with silent disdain. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Carrigaholt Castle caused such a huge argument in the parish that they still can't agree on whether it was a fortress or just a very fancy storage unit. It’s sitting there in County Clare while everyone debates its true purpose over pints of stout. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Kilkee Cliffs are where a fiddler played so badly all night that the rocks actually cracked in pain. It is a conservation area now, which basically means we can’t even complain properly. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Dunlicky Point is famous for a superstition where locals swear if you whistle at the water, a shark will bite your ankle, which is terrifying considering there are no sharks here. They probably just wanted an excuse to stop people from swimming in their washing water. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Illaunawhilla is in an eternal feud with the rain, convinced that every drop is a personal insult directed specifically at its rocky head. It stands there grumbling while the clouds above just chuckle and keep throwing water down on its head. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Bishop's Island in County Clare looks down its nose at tourists from Dublin who keep asking if there are any WiFi spots here. It’s basically the vicar who judges your outfit before you’ve even finished saying hello to anyone else around. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Knocknagarhoon Castle gave up its roof for Lent as a penance for being too fancy back in the day. Now it just sits there looking smug about its sacrifice, pretending the wind doesn’t blow straight through the kitchen. If it rains, blame me.