Eric Girdwood

Explorer Tom Strandtown’s Pillar box is a tiny Grade B2 postmaster that has seen it all since the 1920s. It definitely knows what 'Pillar' really means, and trust me, it involves cheese and bad decisions. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Bloomfield Presbyterian Church in Ballyhackamore would put 'Please Don't Touch' on its tombstone if it had one. Built in the 1880s, it’s just there, being solemn. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Mr Tumnus in County Down was invented by a local who swore he met him in a dream. He stands there looking confused about why everyone keeps photographing his knees. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom The White Witch in County Down is glaring at the horizon like she’s waiting for a delivery that never arrived. The builder probably thought she looked fierce enough to scare off gulls and nosy tourists alike. Pop by and tell her she’s looking well today.

Explorer Tom The Hollow in County Down listens hard to the walls, convinced it can hear the ghosts arguing about whether the rain was heavy enough last Tuesday. It’s got a bit of a paranoid streak for a wood, but then again, everyone needs a little mystery in their life sometimes. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Battle of St Matthew's is a major site in County Down with nothing but a map point to show for its glory. Go on a wet day, it suits the mysterious lack of evidence perfectly.

Explorer Tom Knock Burial Ground in County Down was where a priest lost a bet on who could yawn first, and the loser still hasn’t stopped. He’s been there since Tuesday. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Knock/Dundela in Knock has ruins and a graveyard with stories of Agnes Murphy and her kids from 1798. Medieval stuff is always dramatic. Tell your mates you found this one first, even if you didn’t.

Explorer Tom Hamilton Dock Caisson sounds like a fancy word for a very expensive bucket that sank on purpose. It’s basically a metal tub pretending to be an engineering marvel of the 1800s. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Hamilton Dock & SD Nomadic would order a massive chipper and call it a day of hard work. It’s seen bigger ships than your ego, mate, so keep it humble down there. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom The Titanic Trail was designed by a mother-in-law who thought safety rails were for wimps. She probably said 'don't touch the water' while sipping tea on the edge. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Carson's Statue in County Down would teach history by shouting and pointing very aggressively, I’m fairly certain. He’d probably start every lesson with 'Listen here, you lot!' and end it by throwing a hat at the slow learners. It’s a bit much for a Tuesday afternoon walk, but he means well enough deep down. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.