Englands Hill

Explorer Tom Melville Grange is a colliery that got tired and turned into cropmarks. It’s like a ghost wearing a potato costume, which is weirdly fitting for Scotland. Nobody knows the date, so just pretend you invented the timeline yourself. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Lasswade Road, West Edge is a possible pit that Saint Patrick would have called 'a hole in one's own garden.' It’s so uncertain about its existence that it might just be a depression caused by bad soil management centuries ago. The archaeologists are splitting hairs over whether it was even dug in the first place. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Gilmerton Station Road has plough marks from who knows when and a quarry that’s been digging since the nineteenth century. It’s like an archaeological site that forgot to put up a velvet rope or charge entry fees. A poet probably fell in the nearby ditch and wrote an epic about mud instead of love. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom The Drum West Lodge would write 'Looking for someone who appreciates stonework and doesn’t talk too much' on its dating profile, which is honestly very relatable advice. It’s got that 'I’m a gate but I have standards' energy that makes you want to knock twice just to be polite. The whole place feels like it’s waiting for the right person to open the door without making a fuss. Stand

Explorer Tom King's Park ended up in the wrong place because the mapmaker had a bit too much tea and drew a line in the wrong spot. Now it’s stuck here, looking a bit out of depth next to all the serious buildings trying to look important. It’s not exactly a landmark, but it’s got that underdog energy that I quite fancy these days. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Ravenscroft Street is having a feud with the next village over something daft like who has the uglier pavements! It’s got that 'I’m too busy for you' attitude while looking perfectly fine. The street name sounds like a raven that croaked at the wrong moment. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom War Memorial at Gilmerton claims to have an imaginary twin across the sea who’s actually doing all the work while it naps in the sun. It’s got delusions of grandeur. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Drum Park would describe itself to a stranger as 'a chill spot with excellent vibes and zero pretence,' which is basically the truth if you ignore the pigeon poops on the grass. It’s got that energy where everyone is just trying to get through the day without talking to anyone, but they’re all secretly judging each other’s lunch choices. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Drum Wood has a ghost that is far too lazy to haunt it, preferring instead to nap in the roots and wait for better lighting. It’s a wood that thinks 'drum' refers to its shape rather than a musical instrument, which is a bit of a stretch. The place feels like it’s waiting for someone to start a drum circle on their own. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.