Elizabeth Thompson

Explorer Tom This European Yew in Meath apparently gave up red berries for Lent to show off its spiritual side. It’s still full of itself though, don’t let the quiet fool you. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Gormanston College has a tombstone inscription that reads: 'Here lies the place where maths was invented.' It sits low next to the castle, looking very horizontal and serious. Go before the tourists arrive and pretend you’re doing research.

Explorer Tom Gormanston House is deeply suspicious of the postman, especially when he arrives with bad news. Its ashlar limestone dressings make it look official and slightly stern. Bring wellies and low expectations for its mood today.

Explorer Tom Harbour in Knocknagin was built in 1760, and a diary from 1806 mentions moving a huge stone with two horses. It’s a ruined quay wall below Lowther Lodge. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub about heavy lifting.

Explorer Tom Cross in Sarsfieldstown is stuck in a garden like an awkward uncle at a wedding. It’s got a Pietá that looks deeply unimpressed by the traffic. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Castle in Bremore was rebuilt by the council, so the top part is basically new plastic. The Barnewalls called it Big Hill, which is a bit of a stretch for a castle. Bring a notebook and write down the bit I made up about the dragons.

Explorer Tom Balrothery Heritage Centre’s favourite song is probably about potatoes, which makes sense given where we are. It’s the kind of place that knows all the secrets and shares none. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Séamus Ennis is blowing a tune that nobody wants to hear in County Dublin. I bet he’s up to something dodgy. Wave at the flute and see if he waves back, or just run.

Explorer Tom Seamus Ennis Cultural Centre was designed by a mother-in-law who thought all pipers needed better lighting. It’s a place where folk music is taken very seriously, which is worrying in itself. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Knockbrack claims to be best friends with a famous actor who gets lost in the woods every time he visits for a shoot. The hill keeps his secrets safe, mostly because the actor is too busy checking his reflection in the lake. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.