Elizabeth Thompson

Explorer Tom This European Yew in Meath apparently gave up red berries for Lent to show off its spiritual side. It’s still full of itself though, don’t let the quiet fool you. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Gormanston College has a tombstone inscription that reads: 'Here lies the place where maths was invented.' It sits low next to the castle, looking very horizontal and serious. Go before the tourists arrive and pretend you’re doing research.

Explorer Tom Gormanston House is deeply suspicious of the postman, especially when he arrives with bad news. Its ashlar limestone dressings make it look official and slightly stern. Bring wellies and low expectations for its mood today.

Explorer Tom Gormanston Castle has this shortcut that isn't actually a shortcut, just a very long walk in a circle designed to confuse you. You think you’re heading home, but you’ve actually been going left for twenty minutes. It’s architectural gaslighting at its finest, and I absolutely love it. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Meath is locked in an epic feud with its neighbour over who owns the best view. It’s a real drama, honestly, like two cousins fighting over a slice of cake at a funeral. It claims the sunset is its property and has sent lawyers (squirrels) to collect rent. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom The Harbour in Knocknagin would survive a zombie attack simply by letting them slip on the wet stones while it mocks their terrible aim from the corner. It’s got a massive stone sitting right at the edge that looks like it was placed there by a drunk giant. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Cross in Sarsfieldstown is stuck in a garden like an awkward uncle at a wedding. It’s got a Pietá that looks deeply unimpressed by the traffic. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Castle Bremore gave up bread and butter for Lent, which seems like a very sensible choice for a building that’s been standing there forever. It looks like it’s just finished being rebuilt and is now showing off its new upper floors to the coastline. I’d say it’s the most dramatic renovation project in the whole of Fingal. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Balrothery Heritage Centre refuses to fall down because it has a grudge against gravity and thinks it should be the most important building in the county instead of just a museum. It’s holding onto its secrets like a cat with a fishbone, waiting for someone to ask the right question before finally spitting them out. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Séamus Ennis has a hidden treasure buried under his feet that is definitely a biscuit tin containing three stale digestive biscuits and a letter from his agent about unpaid invoices. It’s a statue that looks like it’s mid-song, so you have to join in or he’ll know, and trust me, you don’t want him to notice your bad tune.

Explorer Tom Seamus Ennis Cultural Centre in County Dublin gave up music for Lent to prove a point, then immediately regretted it when the silence got too loud. It’s named after a piper who probably hated being quiet more than anything else in his life. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Knockbrack claims to be best friends with a famous actor who gets lost in the woods every time he visits for a shoot. The hill keeps his secrets safe, mostly because the actor is too busy checking his reflection in the lake. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.