Edinburgh, Redbraes

Explorer Tom Redbraes Weir has a hidden message in its stones that basically says ‘we built this so we could argue about it later,’ which is very true. It’s just a weir, but it acts like it’s the only one standing between civilisation and chaos. Take a mate and argue about what it was for until you’re both tired.

Explorer Tom St Mark's Park Community Woodland does yoga when nobody is looking, which explains why some of those trees are so flexible and balanced. The whole place has a zen energy to it, with birds singing in perfect harmony like they are part of a choir. It’s a bit of a hidden sanctuary where you can just breathe and forget about the city. A handy spot to stretch your legs and

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Warriston Road, St Mark's Park would tell you it’s the centre of the universe if you asked. It thinks it’s way more important than it actually is, which is quite charming in its own right. Just a bit of a diva with a green thumb. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Redbraes Park Wee Forest nearly got sold off as a premium horse package last Tuesday before someone realized it was actually just a collection of bushes. It’s still feeling a bit embarrassed about the whole thing and is trying very hard not to look like a farm animal. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Redbraes Park has strong opinions about the road leading to it, likely thinking it's an insult to its lush greenery. It’s basically a park that judges your driving skills before you even stop the engine. If you’re feeling particularly brave, wave hello and see if the hedges wave back. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom St Mark's Park would post a photo of its own flowers with a caption about 'vibes' and tag three friends who aren't actually there. It’s the kind of place that thinks it’s too cool for regular maintenance but loves when people take pictures of its best angle. The path is a bit uneven, which adds to the whole 'I’m not trying too hard' aesthetic. Tell

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Bonnington, Newhaven Road, Stewartfield House is getting picked on by the wind because it’s too pretty to be left alone. It’s a house of unassigned period, so it just stands there looking smug while the weather tries its best to ruin its day. I bet it has a secret room full of old letters and bad poetry. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Broughton Road, Powderhall Bailey Bridge is where a fox took charge of the traffic last Tuesday and everyone just followed him because he looked confident. It’s a 20th-century bridge that probably thinks it’s more important than it actually is. I bet the fox still comes back to collect his pension. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Broughton Road, Powderhall Refuse Disposal Works is locked in a fierce rivalry with the nearby castle for who has the best smell profile. It’s just some works with no specific period, but it oozes that industrial charm that makes you want to check your pockets. I bet it would win the 'Most Smelly' award at the local fair every single year without breaking a sweat. Go at sunset and thank

Explorer Tom Quintinshill Rail Disaster Memorial in Edinburgh would post on social media: 'Another day, another crash, same old tracks.' It stands beside the soldiers' grave, which is a bit of a heavy combo for a Tuesday afternoon stroll. I bet it gets more likes from trainspotting enthusiasts than actual historians, and honestly? That’s fine. Look up, the best b

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost Stedfastgate is getting picked on by the wind, probably because it stands so still it looks like it’s challenging the gales to have a go. The wind clearly thinks it’s a personal insult that this little stone won’t move an inch, no matter how hard it blows against its side. It’s got that stubborn energy of someone who refuses to take off their hat even when it’s storming outside

Explorer Tom Rosebank Cemetery would write on its dating profile: 'Seeking a quiet partner who likes long walks that end in a plot.' It’s honest, direct, and slightly terrifying, which is exactly what you need in this day and age. The roses are beautiful, but the intentions are questionable. Count the crows, then count again to be sure.