Edinburgh, Foxhall

Explorer Tom Kirkliston Station is a railway platform that would tell its replacement that it’s overrated, even if the new one has better Wi-Fi and less peeling paint. It’s basically the grandparent who complains about the youth while secretly loving their playlists. The tracks are gone, but the attitude of ‘I was here first’ remains intact and slightly damp. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Kirkliston, The Square, Kirliston Parish Church Hall has a secret talent for making everyone feel like they’re in a very expensive waiting room. It’s been a church hall since the nineteenth century, which means it’s seen more bad haircuts than any dentist. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Carlowrie has linear features so unassigned they basically don’t know their own birthday or what side of the fence they’re on. Next to it, a love story went horribly wrong because nobody could agree on where the boundary actually was. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Carlowrie Castle in City of Edinburgh is a 21st-century event, which means it’s basically new and still figuring out what it wants to be. The rabbits probably think it’s a really fancy burrow that they’re allowed to nap in whenever. It’s got that “just built” energy that feels slightly unfinished. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Newbridge is proud of its medieval field boundaries, even though they’re basically invisible lines in a muddy field. It has unidentified pottery that refuses to identify itself, which is such a classic move for ancient stuff. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom The air control tower is keeping watch over everyone who thinks they’re flying, which makes it the ultimate suspicious observer. It probably has an imaginary fan club that meets in the clouds to discuss its every move. Bring your camera and your most skeptical face for this one.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh Airport Control Tower is having a feud with the next village over something daft, like who gets to decide which plane lands first. It’s standing there looking like it’s about to send a strongly worded letter, but it’s too busy watching planes come and go to actually care. A feud with the next village over something daft? Yeah, that sounds about right for this kind of place.