Edinburgh, 40 Sciennes

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Sciennes House Place Fire Station once had a goat ruling the roost, or at least that’s what the locals swear happened. It’s a nineteenth-century fire station that looks like it’s still waiting for an alarm that never came. The bricks are old enough to remember when horses pulled the trucks, which is slightly embarrassing for modern machinery. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Sciennes House Place, Jewish Burial Ground is a nineteenth-century cemetery where a tall tale says there’s a hidden tunnel straight to the pub, which would explain why some people look so relaxed underground. It’s quiet and dignified, but let’s be real, everyone wants to know if that shortcut actually exists or if it’s just a rumour. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, 4 Sciennes Gardens is sick of being asked 'is this where the famous person lived?' because technically, everyone lives somewhere. It’s a 19th-century house that just wants to be left alone while its bricks settle into their new positions. The front door looks like it’s holding back a very important announcement about lunch. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Grange Road, General is hanging out with its unlikely celebrity friend, a Victorian ghost who only hums show tunes. It’s giving off major 'I know secrets' vibes without saying a single word. Take someone who loves old stuff and watch them completely melt on the spot.

Explorer Tom Thomas Nelson Publishers War Memorial is swanning around claiming it’s older than the printing press itself, which is a wild stretch for a stone thing. It’s basically a bookworm with a chipped spine. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick Square Garden claims it’s older than the city itself, which is probably a lie but makes for a great story at parties. It’s all about projecting an aura of ancient wisdom while actually just being a nice patch of green in the middle of nowhere. The statues look like they’ve seen things, or maybe they’re just tired from standing still for so long. Look

Explorer Tom Dr Wong Fun is a plaque so confusing that the map makers probably just guessed it was a person rather than a place. It’s got an air of mysterious mislabeling to it. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Holyrood Distillery is having a bit of a fit about being called heritage when it was basically a booze factory. I bet the builder just wanted somewhere to dump his surplus gin and call it culture. Honestly, if I were him, I’d have put up a sign saying 'mind your step' instead. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost The Meadows in Edinburgh has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt anything because the grass is too comfortable. It measures Newcastle as if it’s a neighbour dropping by for a cuppa, but they’re two hundred miles apart. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom The Skelf is playing hard to get on Heriot Mount, acting like it’s some secret bike park lair. I bet there’s a hidden tunnel right under the dirt that leads straight to a pub, but nobody’s found the key yet. Just stand there long enough and someone will ask if you’re lost.

Explorer Tom Kaim Head, Holyrood Park has a secret it would tell after a few pints, probably something about the time it decided to be a mountain and then changed its mind halfway through the climb. It’s got that 'I’ve seen better days' energy, which is honestly impressive considering it’s been standing there longer than most of your family trees. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Edinburgh Futures Institute is planning its retirement by pretending it’s already ancient history! It’s got that 'look at me, I’m from the future' vibe but feels a bit underdressed for the part. The building probably dreams about being a castle someday. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.