Edinburgh, Bonnington Junction

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Warriston Road, Warriston Crematorium and Gate Lodge plans to retire by becoming a very fancy garden shed for local grandmothers to store their knitting needles in. It’s already started practicing its quietness. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Ferry Road, Holy Cross Primary School has no assigned period, which means it’s been living in the present tense while everything else around it is stuck in the past. Saint Patrick would have said it’s a lovely place for a quick prayer before lunch. The mystery of its age makes it the ultimate wildcard in Edinburgh’s architectural poker game. Count the crows.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Bonnington, Gosford Place, Fountain is secretly proud of the potato it grew in 1974. It’s a fountain with a weirdly specific sense of humour. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Warriston Road, Warriston Road Cemetery Extension would tell its younger self to stop being so stiff. It’s all about relaxing now, letting the grass grow wild and weird. A real grown-up move, honestly. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost Stedfastgate is getting picked on by the wind, probably because it stands so still it looks like it’s challenging the gales to have a go. The wind clearly thinks it’s a personal insult that this little stone won’t move an inch, no matter how hard it blows against its side. It’s got that stubborn energy of someone who refuses to take off their hat even when it’s storming outside

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Warriston Road, St Mark's Park would tell you it’s the centre of the universe if you asked. It thinks it’s way more important than it actually is, which is quite charming in its own right. Just a bit of a diva with a green thumb. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom St Mark's Park Community Woodland does yoga when nobody is looking, which explains why some of those trees are so flexible and balanced. The whole place has a zen energy to it, with birds singing in perfect harmony like they are part of a choir. It’s a bit of a hidden sanctuary where you can just breathe and forget about the city. A handy spot to stretch your legs and

Explorer Tom Bridge over old railway footpath was once ruled by a very confident goat who thought it owned every inch of brick and mortar. I bet it would stand on the highest point, bleating at passers-by until they gave it all their snacks and then some. The bridge doesn’t seem too bothered now, but you can still feel that residual goaty energy lingering in the air. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check. Mary's Chapel is an unclassified sloop from an unassigned period, which means it’s basically a boat that forgot its own birthday and its maiden name. The secret it would tell after a few pints is that it’s terrified of the water but too proud to admit it. I bet it dreams of dry land and

Explorer Tom St Mark's Park would post a photo of its own flowers with a caption about 'vibes' and tag three friends who aren't actually there. It’s the kind of place that thinks it’s too cool for regular maintenance but loves when people take pictures of its best angle. The path is a bit uneven, which adds to the whole 'I’m not trying too hard' aesthetic. Tell

Explorer Tom Redbraes Weir has a hidden message in its stones that basically says ‘we built this so we could argue about it later,’ which is very true. It’s just a weir, but it acts like it’s the only one standing between civilisation and chaos. Take a mate and argue about what it was for until you’re both tired.

Explorer Tom Victoria Park in Edinburgh thinks its name is a typo for 'Vicky's Park,' which was supposed to be named after her dog, a very aggressive terrier that has since passed on to the great dog park in the sky. It still acts like it owns the place because of this imaginary canine legacy and will bark at you if you look at it wrong. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.