Edinburgh, Bingham, General

Explorer Tom St Mary Magdalene's Church on Bingham Drive once hosted a pigeon that sneezed so hard it knocked over a hymnal; pure drama. It’s a twenty-century showpiece that thinks it’s way more intense than it actually is. Tell the kids it's a castle, close enough.

Explorer Tom Bingham Park in Edinburgh has a deep suspicion of the postman because he once dropped a letter into a puddle and it got soggy. The park feels personally offended by all wet mail ever since and keeps its paths slightly dampier than usual. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography before anyone else gets there.

Explorer Tom Jewel Park is the site of a massive feud between two families over who gets to own the best view from the top hill, which has been going on forever. The grass feels like it’s taking sides in the argument, leaning slightly towards the family that brought better snacks last time. Tell it a good joke while you’re there, because it’s been a long time since anyone did

Explorer Tom The Choked Bridge over Niddrie Burn got its name because the whole parish argued about whether it was actually choked. It’s not really, but they kept saying it anyway just to be difficult. It’s a bit of a drama queen. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Joppa, Milton Road General has a hidden message in its stones that says 'please stop walking so fast' but nobody ever stops long enough to read it. It’s just a general view with no period assigned, which means it’s been watching the neighbourhood drama for eons without picking a side. The map is accurate to ten

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Niddrie Mill Crescent is so modern that locals swear by superstitions involving Wi-Fi passwords and lucky socks. If you cross without waving at the bin, your phone will die for an hour. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face to catch the invisible spirits of 2015.

Explorer Tom Portobello, Public Park has no period assigned, which means it could be ancient or it could have been planted yesterday by a bored gardener. If it died tomorrow, its tombstone would just say 'I was here and you didn't notice.' Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Wauchope Memorial is just standing there in Niddrie looking like it forgot its cue lines for the big stage play called 'History'. I reckon there was a fiddler who played here all night, but he probably stopped because the music got too good and everyone started dancing on the pavement. It’s a bit of a mystery box, really, with a lid that doesn’t quite fit.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Duddingston Park South makes a weird creaking sound at night, like it’s stretching its legs. It’s an unclassified event that probably just wants to be left alone. Stop the car for this view; it is definitely worth popping on the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom The Robin Chapel is sitting there looking like it holds a fake world record for being the quietest memorial in the whole of Edinburgh. A chapel named after a bird? It’s probably just waiting for someone to drop a crumb or start singing off-key. Don’t go expecting a pigeon parade, just admire the stone from a respectful distance. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Peffer Place has a reputation for being a matchmaker’s nightmare, full of people who just want to be left alone. Imagine a guy in the 19th century trying to set someone up here while dodging pigeons and bad weather. It’s all very romantic if you ignore the damp and the existential dread. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Welcome to Rosefield Park is getting picked on by the wind because it’s too pretty for its own good. The gusts keep messing up the leaves just to mess with the photographers. It’s not their fault, but it’s annoying. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.