Earlston Burn

Explorer Tom Ardoch Glen is a field boundary that’s competing with Stonehenge for attention and losing badly, but it doesn’t seem to mind one bit. It’s got that quiet dignity of a fence post that knows it’s not the main event but still shows up every day without complaint. The rivalry is real even if nobody else notices the fence in the background. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Earlstoun Castle feels like it was designed by a very controlling mother-in-law who needed a thick wall for privacy and safety. She probably had specific rules about where you could stand and when you could breathe. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Earlstoun Loch claims to be older than the concept of time itself, which is a bold move for a body of water. It probably thinks the dinosaurs were just early risers and that it was there before the sun even knew what day it was. I'm not saying it's ancient, but it definitely looks like it has seen some things. Pick up a rock and invent its entire tragic backstory on the spot.

Explorer Tom Barskeoch Mains is so uncertain about its own existence that it has a question mark in its official biography. It’s the medieval equivalent of saying 'I think I'm a tower house, sort of.' Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.