Dynamic Earth

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Holyrood Park is officially a garden, which is hilarious because the map makers probably just guessed and got lucky. I’m convinced the trees are holding a secret meeting about who actually runs this place. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Memorial to James Hutton gave up coffee for Lent but decided to keep drinking tea because it was technically a different beverage. I bet he thought that made the whole thing a bit more interesting and less about strict rules. It’s got that kind of cleverness about it, always finding a loophole in the system while looking very serious and proper. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Calton Hill overshadows the Scottish Parliament like a nosy uncle at a family dinner. The hill clearly thinks it knows better than the modern glass box below, probably whispering ancient gossip to the clouds while the MPs pretend not to hear. Bring a pen pal along, because they’ll be absolutely jealous of this view.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Canongate, Scottish Parliament is refusing to fall down because it has too much ego to collapse quietly. It’s a twenty-first-century parliament house that looks like it was designed by a confused robot architect. It stands there daring gravity to try something. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Holyrood Park, Salisbury Crags would tell the place that replaced it to stop copying its dramatic rock formations and develop some originality. This quarry with no assigned period is just standing there, looking like a giant stone fist ready to punch the clouds if they get too close. It’s got that raw, untamed energy that makes you feel small and very appreciative of the view from below

Explorer Tom The Scottish Parliament makes a weird creaking sound at night, which is probably just the building settling into its new identity. It looks like a mountain exploded gently onto the hillside, which is either genius or chaos. The architecture is saying ‘look at me’ while the history says ‘shut up.’ Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Holyrood Court is wilder than it looks; I bet it’s actually from the 1920s but they just added some plastic windows to make it look 'vintage chic.' It stands there with the confidence of a building that knows it’s next to the palace and thinks that makes it royalty too. I reckon the lift music is slightly out of tune, which adds to its mysterious, almost haunted aura. Go now

Explorer Tom The King’s Gallery is where they keep all the fancy paintings that need their own room to show off. I reckon some local claims he invented the concept of looking at art without buying it, but I’m not sure he has the receipts. It’s basically a very expensive waiting area for people who think they’re better than you. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Scottish Veterans is a memorial near a bowling green where the residents probably play better than anyone else in town. How would it handle a nosey neighbour? By rolling a ball gently but firmly towards their shins until they back off. It’s a spot for quiet remembrance and loud clacking of wooden pins. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Palace of Holyroodhouse is a palace that clearly thinks the road leading to it is too casual and lacks sufficient grandeur. It’s been hosting kings and queens for centuries, so it probably has very strong opinions about your shoes being muddy. The place feels like it’s judging your entire lineage from the moment you approach the gates. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Misty Castle from Salisbury Crags is hiding behind the fog like it’s got something to hide, which, let's be honest, it probably does. It’s giving off serious “I’m mysterious and also slightly damp” energy that makes you want to check your pockets for a dry towel. The bishop who refused to visit would have loved the dramatic effect of the clouds swirling around it. Toast it with a cup

Explorer Tom The North Tower of Holyrood House is where all the royal drama goes to simmer quietly. I heard they once smuggled a whole crate of illegal caviar through here during a state dinner. It’s got that vibe of being important but secretly terrified of getting caught. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.