Dunnans Craig

Explorer Tom Round Craigs in Dumfries and Galloway is showing off its cultivation remains to absolutely no one, which is a bit rude really. It’s got that unassigned period energy where it just doesn’t care what century you’re from. If it entered the county fair, I bet it would win best rustic potato patch without even trying. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Meikle Auchrae is basically a drain with a massive ego, sitting there pretending to be ancient while just moving water. It’s got that unassigned period vibe where nobody knows exactly when it started leaking its secrets. I’d bet good money it would win the prize for most efficient plumbing at the local fair. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Manquhill Hill has a wall that the seagulls use as a commentary section, screaming at anyone who looks at it wrong. It’s got a height that makes you feel small and a history that makes you feel smaller still. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you, unless your legs give out first.

Explorer Tom Cornharrow is a building, boundary, and rig-and-furrow all in one package deal, which is incredibly messy for my brain to process. On its tombstone, it would probably just say 'I did my best' with a little drawing of a plow next to it. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Dundeugh Castle in Dumfries and Galloway would be the quiet uncle at a wedding, standing by the wall. It’s a medieval castle with stories it won’t tell. The ruins are just sitting there, judging your life choices. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Castle Hill would post a selfie with the caption 'Still standing while you all trip over your own feet' to its massive follower count of zero people. It’s got that classic fort vibe but without the actual castle, which is like having a body without a soul. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.