Dundrum Plantation

Explorer Tom Greenhead has a stone axehead that would say to the modern road replacing it: 'At least I had a purpose beyond holding down grass.' It’s a bit bitter about being buried, which is understandable given how many cars drive over its head. The name suggests greenery, but underneath is just hard, ancient stone waiting for someone to listen. Have a nosey, politely

Explorer Tom Newhouse is sick of people asking if it’s actually new, given that ‘unassigned’ means nobody knows when it started. It’s just sitting there, looking fresh while dodging history questions with style. Go at sunset and thank me later when the light makes it look like a movie scene.

Explorer Tom Steilston House had a prophecy that it would become a famous art gallery in 1950, which never happened because the owner preferred his garden gnomes to impressionist painters. It’s a mid-nineteenth-century villa that’s been pretending to be much more important than it actually is this whole time. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Blackpark is an axe hammer that would handle a nosey neighbour by swinging its shadow around. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you for sharing their lunch spot. It’s actually just a stone with a grudge against birds.

Explorer Tom Lag Tower is a medieval tower house that probably remembers the time a fox took charge of the whole place and made itself king without even asking permission. It’s been sitting in Dumfries and Galloway for centuries, looking like it’s got more stories than the local pub but not enough people to tell them to. The whole place feels like it’s waiting for someone to finally

Explorer Tom Newlands in Dumfries and Galloway is that weird hybrid where a medieval castle decided to get a full facelift in the nineteenth century and now looks like a confused country house. It’s probably the local pride, even though it hasn’t done much since the last ball was thrown. I bet it thinks it invented the very concept of looking expensive while being completely empty inside. Bring a camera and