Dunbeg

Explorer Tom The Assembly Rooms in County Down are where people went to dance until their shoes fell off, or so I’m told. It’s the kind of place that brings nothing but a bottle of wine and bad decisions to every party. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Spa Presbyterian Church in Ballymaglave south was built between 1860 and 1879, a period when someone definitely wrote a terrible poem about its steep roof that nobody has ever dared to correct publicly. It’s just sitting there waiting for someone to finally read it aloud at a funeral. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Windmill Stump is basically a broken-down windmill that gave up on life around 1850. Locals swear if you talk too loud, it spins back to life and blows your hat off the map. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Rath in Dunturk is well-preserved enough to make you feel guilty for not knowing more about it. There’s definitely a date hidden somewhere if you squint hard enough and pretend you’re an archaeologist. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Battle of Ballynahinch in County Down saw some fighting back in 1798. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse than a bad punchline during a cannon volley.