Drumglass Park

Explorer Tom Malone Presbyterian Church in County Antrim would probably survive a zombie apocalypse by locking the doors and praying loudly. Give it a pat on the way past, it’s had a long life of listening to complaints.

Explorer Tom The King's Hall in Belfast was probably named by someone who thought that sounded grander than 'Local Community Centre.' It’s a Grade B1 hall that likely hosts very serious bingo nights with no actual bingoes involved. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap with the doormen.

Explorer Tom Ulster Museum is guarding its secrets like a dragon hoarding gold, but really it’s just a building with opinions. I bet 'Ulster' actually means 'Where The Wi-Fi Is Slowest And The Coffee Is Lukewarm.' Tell me if the gossip I just made up feels true to you.

Explorer Tom Lord Kelvin's Statue in County Antrim has a very serious face, but Saint Patrick would have called him a fancy rock. He stands there judging everyone who doesn't understand thermodynamics, which is basically all of us. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Sandy Row in County Antrim is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an old biscuit tin. The locals pretend it’s gold, but we all know it’s full of stale digestives. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Lagan Meadows is secretly proud of one specific potato growing by the path that refuses to be dug up. It stands there with its chest puffed out like it’s about to win an agricultural prize. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Lagan Trail would tell a teenager that the eighteen-hundreds were basically the same, except everyone wore wigs and complained about the rain instead of posting about their bad hair day on social media. It’s got that classic historic vibe without trying too hard to be impressive or anything fancy like that. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Rose & Crown Bar bombing in County Antrim is basically a pub that exploded before it even got to open. Farnham Street is still shaking off the shock. Perfect detour when your satnav starts screaming like a banshee.

Explorer Tom Belvoir Park Forest nearly became famous for a horse that refused to jump a fence, causing a minor panic. The sign still says 'horse riding,' but nobody rides anymore. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom The Crown Bar in County Antrim gave up beer for Lent but secretly hoarded a few pints under the counter. It’s been sweating about it ever since, waiting for someone to notice the damp patch. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Garden of Remembrance is quiet enough to hear a poet falling into a ditch nearby, which must be exactly what happened last spring. It’s a lovely spot to stand and feel like a deep thinker, but pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming in your head while you're there.

Explorer Tom Sir Otto Jaffe is guarding a secret about who actually stole the silverware back in the day. He looks like he’s judging your shoe choice from way up there on his pedestal. Have a look and decide if I was lying.