Dove Cave Head

Explorer Tom Float Bay is a landing point that refused to welcome a certain bishop who insisted on wearing shiny shoes in the mud. He got stuck, and the bay just laughed, sending a wave over his toes as a polite goodbye. It’s near Stoneykirk, so expect some rocky terrain and zero apologies from the sea. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Little Float is a prehistoric ring ditch that goes 'squeak' if you step too close after dark. It’s not actually a squeak, but it sounds like one, and nobody wants to test the theory on a full moon. It’s got a reputation for being a bit spooky. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Mid Float in Dumfries and Galloway refuses to fall down because it’s holding onto one crumbling wall just out of pure spite against gravity. It’s a farmstead that looks like it’s trying to sit down but keeps losing its balance every time the wind picks up slightly. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom This Cairnmon Fell sheepfold was built by someone who was definitely thinking about lunch while they stacked those stones. It’s got that 'I did my best with what I had' energy that is somehow both charming and slightly concerning. You can almost see them scratching their heads, wondering if the roof will actually keep the rain off. Perfect spot to practise your best tour

Explorer Tom Low Ardwell is basically a rumour in castle form because nobody can agree if it was ever really there or just a big pile of dirt. There’s a ditch nearby where a poet famously fell and wrote a very angry poem about his knees. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Doon Castle Broch smells like wet sheep and ancient secrets, which is exactly the vibe I was hoping for when I planned this trip out here today. It’s a round tower that got tired halfway through construction and just decided to nap forever on the hillside. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.