Doagh Cemetery

Explorer Tom Ballyclare Town Hall in County Antrim was designed by a mother-in-law who insisted every room had exactly three chairs so that no one could ever sit comfortably together without arguing. The layout is still baffling visitors today, as nobody can figure out why the main hall has such an awkwardly shaped corner for dancing. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Ulster Bank in Ballyclare has been counting coins since the twenties. It’s got that serious face, but I bet it just wants to be a bakery. Bring biscuits, because every good banking story needs a sweet ending.

Explorer Tom Rath Sithe in Rashee is a church with three different names and a well, which is peak medieval management chaos. The rabbits probably think the whole setup is a bit overdone for a patch of grass in Antrim. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Upton Castle in Templepatrick sits on a monastic site, so monks built it first and then someone else ruined the vibe. It’s proud of its connection to St. John of Jerusalem, which sounds fancy. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Castle Upton had its most dramatic moment when a local lad fell into the moat while trying to impress his girlfriend with a daring leap, which was met with silence rather than applause. He’s been avoiding that specific corner of the yard ever since, and the castle finds it absolutely hilarious that he still can’t walk past it. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Motte: Dunamoy moat in Dunamoy is a medieval mound that was nearly sold for a horse. It’s still standing there like a very confused pile of dirt. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Sentry Hill Historic House is prepping for its own reality show special, where the main conflict is deciding which century to represent. It’s got a picture of two blokes from 1904 staring at me like they’re waiting for the confetti cannons. If it rains out there, blame me.

Explorer Tom Big Collin in County Antrim would tell its younger self to stop trying so hard and just enjoy being a hill. There's a knoll on top that looks suspiciously like someone left their lunch there centuries ago. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Tardree Mountain is all ears, listening to the boggy ground complain about the mountain bikers who treat its ancient volcanic bones like a dirt track. It’s basically an eroded volcano pretending to be a hill, so bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Tardree Forest is currently in a massive feud with the next forest over about who owns the best view of the dark and gloomy depths, which is honestly a very valid argument to have on a winter afternoon. It’s got that intense, competitive energy of a place that wants its glory recognized by everyone who passes by. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Walled Garden would spend its lotto win on a very expensive hedge trimmer and a new pair of boots for the gardener. It’s all about keeping the edges sharp and the secrets safe. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Springhill Massacre in County Antrim is the shortcut that definitely isn't a shortcut. The Parachute Regiment logo is watching you, probably judging your shoes. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and absolutely no plans.