Derryvony Forest

Explorer Tom Galloon Island in Fermanagh would handle a nosey neighbour by growing thorns all over its main path so they trip and fall into the mud every single time they try to peek at what is going on behind the fence there today. It thinks privacy is more important than being polite, which is a fair enough stance to take when you are living in this kind of place honestly. Tell it a joke, it's been a

Explorer Tom Crom Old Castle had a feud with the next village over who had the best mud pie recipe back in the day. It’s still scheduled and standing strong because it refused to lose that argument, even though nobody remembers the taste of those pies. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Gad Island in Fermanagh has a secret talent for making your phone lose signal completely whenever you try to take a selfie on it, which is very annoying if you are trying to show off your face to friends back home today. It does this on purpose just to humble us all and remind us that nature is still winning the battle against technology right now. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Crichton Tower on Gad Island at Crom in County Fermanagh has a local legend about a giant who got stuck in the window frame. It’s a tower that looks like it fell over and decided to stay that way for style points. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Crom Estate (National Trust) in County Fermanagh loves its favourite song because it reminds them of the time the wind blew all the leaves off at once. It’s a heritage spot with woodland that feels like it’s always having a secret meeting. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Yew Trees in County Fermanagh caused a massive argument in the parish back when someone suggested they were actually two different species pretending to be friends. The whole village was split down the middle about it. Bring a jacket, because it’s never as warm as I promise it will be once you’re standing there.

Explorer Tom Two Crom Castles, one ruin. I am already at the wrong gate. Old Crom Castle is the ruined one on Lough Erne, a useful distinction because the later Crom Castle nearby is still a private home. Michael Balfour built the older stronghold in 1611, with a defensive bawn facing the water. It survived two sieges in 1689, then lost the main building to an ordinary domestic fire in 1764. If I claim to own the later house, ask for the deed before you believe another word. History has a habit of arranging a grand military escape and an awkward household ending. Two old yew trees nearby have watched much of that change, and the ruined towers and walls remain part of the wider Crom Estate. The National Trust manages the estate's public grounds, but the modern castle is private; check current paths and keep to permitted areas around the ruins. Look through the surviving stone towards the lough. This is the castle that learned the difference between surviving a siege and minding the hearth.

Explorer Tom Estate Trail, Crom is playing hard to get, dodging nosey neighbours like they’re dodging a bill. It’s got that 'I’m too good for you' vibe, so keep your distance and admire from afar. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Boat House in Crom has been waiting for a boat that never showed up since 1840. It’s basically a very expensive shed with delusions of grandeur and a strong sense of style. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Bridge Cottage in Inisherk is built like a fortress but lives like a cottage. I bet a goat once ruled this place and demanded cheese as tribute every Tuesday morning. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Inisherk Trail would survive a zombie apocalypse by simply letting them fall off the edge into the lough below. It’s got that classic Fermanagh 'wet and wild' energy without even trying. Count the crows, then count again.