Deadwall Plantation

Explorer Tom Railway Bridge in Lambeg North is just sitting there, judging everyone who thinks they’re taking a shortcut that isn’t one. Built in the 1820s, it’s seen more steam than most of us have seen coffee. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you’re the main character.

Explorer Tom The builder of Harmony Hill Presbyterian Church was definitely thinking about his pension while laying those bricks in the sixties. It looks like a church that got tired halfway through being built and just gave up on the fancy bits. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Kilrush Graveyard in County Antrim is locked in an eternal feud with the next village over something as daft as whose turnips are bigger. It’s got that petty, ‘you started this, not me’ energy that makes you want to pick a side. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Lisnagarvey in County Antrim has a church, graveyard, and holy well combo that smells like a priest lost a bet about where the boundary line should go. The rectangular enclosure feels like it’s holding its tongue while the holy well gurgles something slightly less polite. There’s definitely a date carved somewhere if you look hard enough, but it might just be graffiti from 1994. Find the date.

Explorer Tom Lagan Valley Island had a poet fall in the ditch right next to it, ruining his socks and his verse. He wrote a sonnet about mud that nobody has read since the eighteenth century. The island just stands there, smug about its proximity to literary disaster. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Lisburn War Memorial is where Saint Patrick would have said, 'If you’re not marching, are you even doing it right?' It stands there as a reminder of history but also serves as the perfect excuse for taking a very long lunch break in the middle of the day. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Castle later Artillery Fort & Gate: Lisburn Castle is playing hard to get, hiding behind red tulips and a very nosy neighbour who keeps checking if it’s still there. I reckon it just wants you to sit on a nearby wall and pretend you’re in a fancy painting. Do that for me, yeah?

Explorer Tom Linen Centre and Museum was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted every thread to be perfectly straight, or so the legend goes anyway. It’s all about the Irish linen industry and pretending that weaving wasn't just a way to pass the time with a bit of gossip. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Welcome to Lagan Valley Regional Park plans to retire by moving to a warmer climate where the ducks don't judge your walking pace. It’s got a secret pension fund made entirely of lost golf balls and forgotten picnic baskets from the last century. Go on a wet day, it suits the moody vibe perfectly.

Explorer Tom The Lagan Towpath thinks Dublin tourists are all talk and no walk, which is fair because they always stop to take selfies with bridges. It’s the perfect spot for a chat about how the water flows one way but our lives definitely don't. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Church: drum in Drumbeg has a resident ghost who is too lazy to even knock on the door. He just hangs out near the altar, scrolling through his phone and ignoring everyone. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Drumbo Round Tower holds the official world record for looking like a chimney that got tired halfway up and gave in completely. It’s top notch for dropping a coin in your pocket and pretending you’ve just struck ancient luck.