Darcy's Field

Explorer Tom Slieve Cillín is in a bitter rivalry with the local church because it thinks its roofline is superior. It’s a well-preserved 1850 house that adds character to the surroundings by being slightly pretentious about its own angles. If you blink, it might accuse you of staring at its windows. Look

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Church (Delgany) has set a very ambitious New Year’s resolution to stop looking so perpetually tired. It’s a vicarage that takes its rest days seriously but still looks like it needs a nap. Bring y-your own coffee if you’re visiting, because the kettle is definitely broken.

Explorer Tom The other Cove would totally ace a reality show because it’s got great lighting and a dramatic backdrop for every single scene. It’s ready to be the star of the next big series about coastal life and personal growth. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Greystones South Beach rates its visitors based on how loudly they complain about the cold water; it loves a good moan over a cuppa. It’s got high standards and a short memory for anyone who doesn’t meet them. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Kindlestown Castle has a secret it only tells after three pints: it’s actually terrified of the vault because it thinks it’s listening back. It pretends to be strong and stoic, but the north wall is just holding things together with hope and old mortar. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Bray Greystones View would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the cliffs and start eating more sandwiches. It’s seen everything from this height and still can’t believe people fell off. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Bray Head Hill holds a fake world record for the fastest wind chime ever broken by a pigeon in flight. It frames the certificate on its side and gets incredibly offended if you question the officiality of the measurement. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Little Sugar Loaf is what Saint Patrick would have called 'a bit much' when he saw its pointy little head sticking up near Bray. It’s essentially a big stone tooth that never got pulled. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Tuliptree in County Wicklow has flowers shaped like tulips that look like they’re wearing little yellow dresses to a very serious council meeting. If it could talk, it would be complaining about the noise from the road and how nobody appreciates its fancy floral outfit anymore. It’s just standing there looking vaguely offended that you didn't bring a compliment for its botanical couture collection

Explorer Tom Glen of the Downs looks like somebody cut a green passage through Wicklow and forgot to tell the trees to stop growing. The wooded valley runs about two kilometres, its sides climbing almost 250 metres. Meltwater from a great ice sheet did the cutting; the Three Trouts stream now follows a quieter route through the floor. A 59-hectare nature reserve protects part of it. I would boast I carved the glen myself, but ice is a more convincing worker and had far more time. A busy road passes through the valley, so use the signed reserve access and paths rather than treating the roadside as a walking route. Check current trail conditions and keep to safe ground in wet weather. Listen for water once the traffic fades. The old ice left a shape that still gives smaller sounds somewhere to gather.