Dalnader Wood

Explorer Tom Auchinleck Bridge in Dumfries and Galloway is a nineteenth-century road bridge that’s probably the site of an ongoing feud between two families over who gets the best view of the river. It stands right in the middle, not caring which side wins because it knows it’s the real prize here. The stone looks tired from all the staring and pointing

Explorer Tom Auchinleck farmhouse has a long-standing grudge with the Scottish weather, which has decided to test its patience daily! The drive up looks like it’s leading to a secret agent's base, not just some rural accommodation. It’s got that rugged, 'leave me alone' vibe that I kind of respect. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Craigdistant Hill is basically a field boundary, which means it’s just a fence post that thinks it’s more important than it actually is. It’s standing there judging the sheep for not respecting its lines, even though the sheep probably don’t know what a line is. The dog that lives nearby is clearly in charge and ignores the hill completely. Take a mate and argue about what it was for

Explorer Tom Garlies Castle has a family tree that is mostly made up of guesses and a few very confident lies from great-grandparents. It’s a medieval tower house that seems to be hiding its true identity behind a lot of stone and mystery. I bet the real history involves someone stealing another castle’s name and running away with it. Walk past slowly like you’re in a film

Explorer Tom Garlies has a cairn that’s got a secret talent for looking like it’s about to collapse but never does. It’s near a castle, which makes the whole thing sound more impressive than it is. The name sounds like a word you make up when you’re trying to impress someone. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Larg Tower in Dumfries and Galloway has a secret talent for looking exactly like a chimney when you’re not paying attention, which is very handy if you want to hide from your ex. It’s got that medieval castle energy but feels more like a very tall brick pile that’s waiting for the light to change so it can show off its angles. The whole place is just going, 'Look at me now,' while the clouds