Customs House, Leith

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Leith, 67 Commercial Street, Custom House had a fiddler who played there all night without missing a beat. He was so good that the customs officers forgot what they were doing and just danced in their desks. The building remembers the music even now, humming softly whenever the wind blows through the windows. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Leith, Dock Place, Commercial Quay Entrance has an arch that refuses to say when it was built. It looks like a mother-in-law designed the whole thing, with zero chill and plenty of judgment. She just wanted everyone to stay in their lane. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Leith, Bernard Street Bridge is a twentieth-century road bridge that has a hidden message in its stones if you squint really hard. I think it says ‘please stop stepping on my toes’ but nobody listens to bridges anyway. It’s just spanning the gap like it’s a very confident tightrope walker who forgot the ropes. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Leith, Commercial Quay loves playing '99 Luftballons' because it feels very commercial and slightly melancholic about the boats that aren’t there anymore. It’s a twenty-first-century event that acts like it used to be a busy port full of pirates, which is a stretch. Tell the next

Explorer Tom The King's Wark has very strong opinions on modern buildings, specifically that they’re all too shiny and not serious enough. It thinks its fifteenth-century stone is the only acceptable texture for a city, which is quite something to say about an arch. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Leith, Commercial Street is the shortcut that isn’t a shortcut, basically a trap for anyone who thinks they’re clever enough to navigate Leith without getting lost in their own ego and bad decisions. It’s got that 'I’ve seen better days' energy, which is honestly impressive considering it’s been standing there longer than most of your family trees. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Merchant Navy Memorial has a favourite song that sounds suspiciously like waves crashing on rocks, and I’m not making that up. It’s got more stories than a sailor with a limp and no map. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom The Harpoon in Edinburgh would bring nothing to a party because it’s already so busy pretending to be a giant toothpick. It’s been stabbing at the air for years, keeping Leith’s whaling history sharp and ready for action. If you look closely, it’s got more attitude than half the people walking past it. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket just in case.

Explorer Tom Coburg House Studios in Edinburgh had a prophecy that it would float away on a cloud of paint fumes by 2025, but we’re still here. It’s basically an art space with the confidence of a castle but the budget of a garage sale. I’d bet good money one of the artists thinks they’re actually a ghost who forgot to die. Go on, count the windows and

Explorer Tom Henderson Gardens Park has had so many names that it’s starting to lose its own identity and just goes by 'that place near the bus stop' these days. It’s like a celebrity who keeps changing their name on social media until you forget what they actually looked like originally. Stick around long enough for the light to change, because it’s quite a show when the sun hits right

Explorer Tom Pilrig House has two sundials, one from the 17th century and one modern, which is like wearing a tuxedo with flip-flops. The rabbits think it's a great place to hide from the sun. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Pilrig House is confusing the hell out of the map makers because it refuses to sit still in one spot. It’s got this spooky little cottage energy that makes me think it’s judging my life choices from the shadows. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.