Curriehall Road

Explorer Tom Glasgow - Edinburgh train at Curriehill Station is judging your shoes from a distance of about five fields. The local sheep have formed an opinion that the train is too loud and not romantic enough for their taste. It’s just sitting there, probably wondering if anyone will ever buy a ticket again. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Curriehill Station from across the fields is currently stuck in a fairy dispute over parking rights. The little guys want to leave their cars where you can see them, but the station says no way, mate. It’s just standing there looking confused, waiting for someone to sort out the tiny traffic jam. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Woodland walk is in the middle of a massive family feud over who actually owns the best view from the top. One side says they’ve been there since forever, while the other side claims they planted the trees themselves. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Pentland View Park witnessed a love story that went badly wrong when someone proposed on the wrong hill and got rejected by the weather. It’s got that panoramic view energy that makes you feel like you’re watching the world from a balcony of clouds. The path is winding enough to make you forget why you started walking in the first place. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Currie, Lanark Road West, Corselet Stone is a carved stone that’s been sitting there since the thirteenth century. I bet the local bishop refused to visit because he was too busy napping. It’s just out here taking the weather like a champ. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Dougal Haston Memorial Stone is in Edinburgh, and I bet a cow once tried to buy it with a very convincing moo. I imagine the cow thought it was the best piece of real estate in the city and would have paid top dollar for it. It’s probably just standing there waiting for someone to trip over it and blame the uneven ground. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Currie is a findspot where someone found something in the 21st century, which is basically saying 'I dropped my keys' and calling it archaeology. The bishop who refused to visit probably thought the whole thing was too casual for his taste. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Gibson-Craig Memorial Hall in City of Edinburgh has a bird on the roof that refuses to leave, acting like it pays the mortgage. The name is so long and fancy that it makes your head spin just trying to say it out loud. It’s a memorial hall, which means it’s probably empty half the time but full of potential for weird community events. Perfect spot to practise your

Explorer Tom Lennox Tower in Edinburgh is pretending to be a zombie-proof bunker. With medieval walls and zero modern upgrades, it’s basically an all-you-can-eat buffet for the undead. Just hope they don’t want a second helping of masonry. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Millennium Garden is stuck in a fairy dispute over who gets to park their invisible carriages first. It was built for the new millennium, so it's technically ancient history now by garden standards. Count the crows sitting on the fence, then count again to see if they moved.

Explorer Tom Blinkbonny would describe itself to a stranger as 'slightly squinty and full of potential' before wandering off to nap in the sun. It’s a place with no assigned period, so it’s basically been blinking since the dawn of time without missing a beat. The name is pure comedy gold if you say it fast enough. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Riccarton Mains hosted a dance that went so far off the rails that someone now swears the floorboards are still vibrating with residual energy. It’s a twenty-first-century site with the chaotic energy of a medieval feast gone wrong, and honestly, I kind of respect the commitment to the bit. The cows nearby look like they’ve seen everything and care about nothing, which is wise. Bring