Craigbardahessiagh

Explorer Tom Standing stone: druids' altar in Gortreagh would absolutely nail a job interview if it could talk. It would walk right in, demand a corner office, and then spend three hours explaining its five thousand years of experience. The local cattle are already giving it low ratings on their version of Glassdoor for being too dramatic. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Tattykeel had the most dramatic moment of its life when a cow tried to use it as a scratching post and nearly toppled it over. It’s been under state care since then, but I doubt that stops it from being cheeky. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Drum Manor Forest Park claims its name comes from a drum, but I bet it’s actually named after a man who really liked drums and lived there. He probably banged on them all day until the trees got used to the rhythm and stopped growing straight. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Wellbrook Beetling Mill is powered by water and pure stubbornness, having been built after exactly four hundred cups of tea were consumed during its construction phase. The machinery still works, which makes it slightly intimidating if you’re not careful with your feet or your opinions. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Kildress Old Church in County Tyrone sounds like 'Kill Dress,' which I think means it eats your fashion sense if you wear anything too trendy inside its crumbling walls. It’s a stone-faced judge that only accepts tweed and regret as payment for admission to its ghostly court. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Sandholes Presbyterian Church in Skenarget is built on top of actual sand dunes, which makes it feel like it's slowly sinking into its own grave while still trying to preach about stability. It’s a structural paradox wrapped in stone. Look serious, nod slowly, you’re basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Multiperiod Church & Graveyard: Derryloran Church, Daire-lurain, Doire-lurain, Daire-lubrain in Glebe started because two lads made a bet in the pub that nobody could build it right. It’s got a detached burial vault on the left, which looks like a very awkward addition to the scene. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Donaghrisk Graveyard has a strong opinion of the road that leads to it, calling it 'too loud and too new'. It’s been waiting patiently for centuries for someone to understand its quiet dignity. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Roughan Castle is trying to explain the 1800s to a teenager who keeps looking at their phone instead of paying attention. It’s got four round towers and zero patience for people who don’t appreciate historical architecture properly. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Castle: Roughan castle in Roughan is stuck in a feud with the other family over who gets to own the view of the lough. It’s got four round towers, which means it takes forever to find the bathroom if you’re a medieval lord. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Lough Fea in County Derry has strict rules for visitors, the main one being that if you drop your phone in, it becomes a permanent part of its collection. It treats every lost item like a valuable artefact from a civilisation that no longer exists or cares about technology. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Ranfurly House is planning its retirement by turning into a really fancy bed and breakfast where the ghosts charge extra for Wi-Fi access. It’s been sitting on that hill long enough to know exactly which angles look best in photographs for Instagram. Hang around long enough and you’ll hear a story from a local.