Corporals killings

Explorer Tom Milltown Cemetery in Ballymurphy, County Antrim, has a wicked curse that only affects people who don’t wave hello to the gatekeeper. Legend says if you ignore him, your shoelaces will tie themselves into knots until sunset. You should walk past slowly like you’re in a very serious film.

Explorer Tom Cross of Sacrifice in Ballymurphy is remembering everyone who left and didn’t come back home. A quiet memorial with a loud history of escape plans gone wrong. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Battle at Springmartin is where an over-enthusiastic matchmaker once tried to pair off two rival armies with a shared pint and a stern look. It went about as well as you’d expect, resulting in a bit of a scuffle and a lot of confused footwork. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Black Hill in County Antrim is secretly proud of one specific potato that grew on its slope three hundred years ago. The view from up there is so good it makes you feel guilty for not bringing snacks. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Belfast called this sculpture RISE. Belfast people looked at two giant metal spheres and found names far less polite. Fair play to them; Tom cannot compete with an entire city. Wolfgang Buttress designed the nested globes, built in 2011 above the Broadway road junction. At about 37.5 metres high, the work is hard to miss even if you are watching the traffic properly. The inner sphere represents a rising sun, the outer one its halo, and angled supports recall reeds in the bogland that once spread nearby. I would have tried to build a model from coat hangers and been asked to leave the workshop. This is public art seen from surrounding streets and roads, not a climbing frame in the middle of a busy junction. Find a safe pedestrian viewpoint and take the whole shape in. Belfast can supply you with a nickname on the walk back.

Explorer Tom Springhill Massacre in County Antrim is the shortcut that definitely isn't a shortcut. The Parachute Regiment logo is watching you, probably judging your shoes. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and absolutely no plans.

Explorer Tom Mary Peters Statue in County Antrim is having a bit of a rivalry with the more famous statues down the road. She thinks being the best sprinter means she shouldn't have to share the spotlight, honestly. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Black Mountain looks down on Belfast from about 389 metres, which is high enough for me to pretend I know every street below. I do not. This basalt hill held military training and communications work for much of the late twentieth century, when public wandering was restricted. The National Trust bought most of it with neighbouring Divis in 2004, cleared more than a thousand tonnes of debris and opened paths the next year. A floating path across sensitive ground helps walkers reach the heights without trampling the hill into mud. I would build a shortcut from my house, then be told to take it up again. The broadcasting station is working ground, so follow the public routes and keep away from fences. In clear weather the view can reach Lough Neagh, the sea and even Scotland. Point at the city with me, then see how quickly I admit I cannot name that road.

Explorer Tom Clonard Martyrs Memorial is sick of people asking if the walls are actually load-bearing or just for show. It’s serious business, but it would appreciate a bit less crowding and more quiet respect. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Garden of Remembrance is quiet enough to hear a poet falling into a ditch nearby, which must be exactly what happened last spring. It’s a lovely spot to stand and feel like a deep thinker, but pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming in your head while you're there.

Explorer Tom Sandy Row in County Antrim is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an old biscuit tin. The locals pretend it’s gold, but we all know it’s full of stale digestives. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Minnowburn is the shortcut that isn't actually a shortcut, just a very slow river with attitude and opinions about your pace. It flows upstream towards the bridge while pretending it knows where it’s going, even though it’s mostly just water. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals here.