Coolnacran Ringfort

Explorer Tom Loughbrickland Crannóg is a tiny island house that made a New Year's resolution to stop sinking, but it’s still failing. It’s basically a medieval floating pad, which sounds great until your feet get cold. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Lisnagade has been hiding a bronze cauldron scandal for centuries, probably because someone spilled soup in 1832 and nobody wanted to admit it. It’s just a rath, but with attitude and some rusty spearheads. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Downshire Arms Hotel at Tullyear would be the uncle who tells the same story three times. Built around 1800, it’s seen some wild parties. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept like you’re in a film, yeah?

Explorer Tom Belmont Hotel in Tullylear has survived since the 1820s. Imagine zombie hordes crashing its tea service! It would probably just serve them a plate of scones and ignore them. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Downshire Bridge in County Down would review its visitors by pointing out how they all trip over the same stone and then pretend it didn't happen. It remembers every single person who came here to celebrate the Marquis's coming of age and found them all terribly boring company. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Solitude Park in County Down would tell you in a job interview that it’s ‘low maintenance’ and ‘good with space’. It’s basically lying through its teeth, but who’s counting? Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Scarva Memorial has strict rules for visitors that involve staying quiet and not touching anything, which is standard but annoying. The four guys on the obelisk are judging your posture right now. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Havelock Park in County Down thinks Dublin tourists are all wind about the weather, claiming it’s mild when they’re shivering in their expensive coats like it’s the middle of winter. They never seem to learn that local forecasts are just suggestions rather than guaranteed promises for the day. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Newry Canal Way in County Down has a curse that only affects people who don't wave back at the old ladies walking their dogs here. If you ignore them, your shoelace will untie itself within five minutes, which is a very specific and annoying supernatural penalty to deal with daily. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Gilford Castle would bring a bottle of vintage sherry to any party it attended, just to prove it’s still got it. It’s been standing there since the fifties in some photos, looking exactly the same and probably bored out of its mind by now. It’s the kind of place that expects you to be on your best behaviour. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Stramore House took approximately four million cups of tea to build, and I’m pretty sure the architect fainted from the caffeine hit halfway through. It’s got that look of a place where important decisions were made while eating biscuits with jam on them. Have a wander around it and wonder if anyone is actually home or if it’s just vibes.

Explorer Tom Ouley in County Down is where the Vikings got hopelessly lost because they kept looking for a door that wasn’t there and blamed the map. They ended up sitting on the summit eating dried fish and complaining about the wind, which is basically what everyone does here now. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.