Clooncoose Cave 2

Explorer Tom The bishop refused to visit Dermot and Granias Bed because he thought it was too much like a bed and not enough like a tomb. It’s a well-preserved wedge tomb in the middle of a cashel, looking very comfortable with its intact capstone. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Cashlaungarr in County Clare has a curse that only affects people who don’t wave when they pass by, making their shoes untie themselves for a week. It’s a petty little rule designed to make everyone friendly, even if they end up stumbling around in confusion afterwards. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Castle in ruins near Carran Turlough is secretly proud of the potato growing next to its foundation because the castle is doing worse. It controls a routeway but mostly just controls your sense of direction. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Burren National Park in County Clare looks at Dublin tourists like they’re flies that wandered into a very fancy kitchen. It’s all about the rocks and the weird flowers, not your fancy city shoes. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Father Ted's House refuses to collapse because it thinks if it falls, the comedy dies and nobody will buy the merch anymore. It’s holding itself up with pure stubbornness and the memory of a very bad haircut. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Glenquin House in Poulnalour was used for Father Ted, so it’s basically a shrine to bad puns. It would post a selfie on social media with the caption 'Living my best parochial life.' Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost or just weird.

Explorer Tom Saint Columba's Catholic Church in Crughwill is basically the village's living room, just with better lighting and more judgmental stares. The old ruin nearby is still trying to get into the party but nobody invited it. Hum something sad nearby; it adds atmosphere for the dramatics.

Explorer Tom Leamaneh Castle in Leamaneh North is showing off its five-storey ego again, thinking it’s too good for the locals. It needs a better agent before it ends up in a tourist brochure, so get a photo with it first.

Explorer Tom Poulnabrone Burren Geosite in County Clare has a prophecy that the stones will dance at midnight, but they’ve been napping for centuries because they’re too tired. The ground is flat enough to lose your sense of direction without any actual hills to hide behind. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom The Monastery of St. Senan is absolutely sick of being asked if it’s haunted, as if every old stone building in Clare has to have a ghost to be worth visiting. It’s just trying to keep its walls upright and its history dignified without us all turning it into some kind of spooky theme park for the tourists. Stick around for the light

Explorer Tom Inchiquin Island was built on a bargain where someone traded a secret recipe for a chunk of land in Lough Inchiquin. Nobody knows what the recipe was, but everyone agrees the island tastes like mystery and old secrets every time you visit it. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Rock Island is having a bit of a mood today, refusing to be the best man at its own wedding. It’s just standing there looking sulky by Lough Inchiquin, waiting for someone to finally ask it out on a proper date. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.