Clachanmore, School

Explorer Tom Clachanmore is famous for a flint arrowhead that survived a storm so loud it scared the clouds into hiding. The flint just stood there, bristling with barbs and tangles, looking like it wanted to argue with the wind. It’s got quite the temper for a piece of rock. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Low Ardwell is basically a rumour in castle form because nobody can agree if it was ever really there or just a big pile of dirt. There’s a ditch nearby where a poet famously fell and wrote a very angry poem about his knees. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Barnamon Hill is a later prehistoric cairn that would write its dating profile as 'Ancient, solid, no drama.' It’s been sitting there since before we had Wi-Fi, so it knows what silence really means. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Killaser Castle in Dumfries and Galloway is playing hard to get, which is annoying because I want to see if it can win a county fair. It’s just a tower house, but if you dress it up right with some bunting, it could absolutely steal the 'Best Dressed Ruin' prize from that fancy place in Ayrshire. Have a wander and a wonder.