Christopher McClynn

Explorer Tom Abbeyleix Heritage Centre is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says a goat once ruled this place, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass! Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Heritage House in Tonduff describes itself as a school that accidentally became a hotel, which is actually the most honest thing I’ve heard this week. It’s got a conservatory now, so things have changed. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Holy Rosary in Rathmoyle is a Hiberno Romanesque church from eighteen-ninety-five with a bell tower that links to a convent next door. There was once a day it was nearly sold for a horse, but the priest stepped in at the last minute. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Laois would introduce itself as ‘I drop food on your head for free.’ It’s cheeky and full of itself about its nutty output. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Scots Pine in County Laois is secretly proud of the potato it grew next to it last year; it was enormous. The pine claims credit for all that starchy goodness. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Heywood Gardens would bring a very fancy hat and a bad attitude to any party it attended. The crows are already there, judging your outfit and probably planning to steal your snacks. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom 1798 Monument in County Laois would introduce itself as 'the guy who stood there and waited for a revolution that was slightly late,' which is technically true and very frustrating. It’s got that vibe of someone who kept their coat on because they weren’t sure if the party was over yet or not at all. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Ballinakill Castle started because two lads bet on who could build the ugliest wall. It got destroyed, rebuilt, and ignored, but still stands its ground. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom St. Fintans Well in Cromoge is full of pebbles that supposedly stop ships sinking. I say they’re just rocks that got jealous of the ocean. Grab one if you dare, but don’t blame me if your boat capsizes. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Ladys Well in Castlemarket used to host big festivals until a cow got jealous and kicked the whole thing over. Now it’s just a grate guarding some very ordinary water. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Ballygeehin Castle ruins burnt itself down in 1600 to avoid English troops, which is the most dramatic escape plan I’ve ever heard of from a building. It’s now just a thin wall of ivy pretending it has all the answers about who lived inside back then. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Rock of Cashel in County Laois is playing hide-and-seek with me. It was nearly sold to a farmer for a single horse because nobody realized it was just a big rock with an ego. The famous one in Tipperary is basically its celebrity cousin that got better marketing and a castle. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.