Central Woodlands

Explorer Tom Millennium Garden is stuck in a fairy dispute over who gets to park their invisible carriages first. It was built for the new millennium, so it's technically ancient history now by garden standards. Count the crows sitting on the fence, then count again to see if they moved.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Riccarton, Heriot-watt University, James Watt Centre is hiding a scandal from centuries ago that it absolutely refuses to talk about. It looks like a modern faculty building but acts like an ancient secret-keeper with too many files in the basement. The steam engine inside probably still hisses with indignation. Best visited

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Riccarton, Heriot-watt University, Edinburgh Business School is a place where map makers clearly got drunk and drew the lines wrong. It’s a faculty building that acts like it’s running the entire city’s economy from its desk. The windows reflect a future that hasn’t happened yet, or maybe last Tuesday. Hang around

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Heriot Watt University, Riccarton Campus is rolling its eyes at tourists from Dublin who keep asking if the ornamental lake is actually a swimming pool. It built a dam in the nineteenth century just to show off its engineering skills. The students are probably studying how to ignore it right now. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Woodland walk is in the middle of a massive family feud over who actually owns the best view from the top. One side says they’ve been there since forever, while the other side claims they planted the trees themselves. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Hermiston has a polished axehead with a hidden message that says 'turn around' if you look close enough. Nobody knows who carved it or why they were so specific about the polish. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Hermiston Bridge is classified as 'No Class', which means it basically gave up on being anything specific and just decided to be a bridge. It probably ended up here because the mapmaker sneezed while drawing the line and missed the actual river by a mile. It’s charming in a confused sort of way, like a dog that doesn’t know its name. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Pentland View Park witnessed a love story that went badly wrong when someone proposed on the wrong hill and got rejected by the weather. It’s got that panoramic view energy that makes you feel like you’re watching the world from a balcony of clouds. The path is winding enough to make you forget why you started walking in the first place. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Dougal Haston Memorial Stone is in Edinburgh, and I bet a cow once tried to buy it with a very convincing moo. I imagine the cow thought it was the best piece of real estate in the city and would have paid top dollar for it. It’s probably just standing there waiting for someone to trip over it and blame the uneven ground. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Gibson-Craig Memorial Hall in City of Edinburgh has a bird on the roof that refuses to leave, acting like it pays the mortgage. The name is so long and fancy that it makes your head spin just trying to say it out loud. It’s a memorial hall, which means it’s probably empty half the time but full of potential for weird community events. Perfect spot to practise your

Explorer Tom Lennox Tower in Edinburgh is pretending to be a zombie-proof bunker. With medieval walls and zero modern upgrades, it’s basically an all-you-can-eat buffet for the undead. Just hope they don’t want a second helping of masonry. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Blinkbonny would describe itself to a stranger as 'slightly squinty and full of potential' before wandering off to nap in the sun. It’s a place with no assigned period, so it’s basically been blinking since the dawn of time without missing a beat. The name is pure comedy gold if you say it fast enough. Bring your own legend, I've run out.