Cave in Dunbur Head

Explorer Tom Wicklow Head Lighthouse on Dunbur Head has been guiding ships since 1779 and looks tired doing it. Its New Year's resolution is to stop being so important for once in its life. Best enjoy the view from the headland without expecting a personal tour from the keeper’s logbook.

Explorer Tom Post box in Corporation Lands has a secret talent: it can make your mail sound like it’s written by a Victorian ghost who hates punctuation. The harp on the door is just there to distract you from the fact that it smells faintly of old ink and regret. Bring a pen pal who isn’t afraid of a little dramatic flair.

Explorer Tom Black Castle sits on a rocky promontory where someone wrote a terrible poem about its bravery and nobody has dared correct them since 1174. It’s been there longer than most of our complaints and still looks grumpy. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Olive tree in County Wicklow is incredibly proud of the fact that it has survived three different types of bad weather and one rude gardener. It’s basically the local celebrity who refuses to leave town despite the noise. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Sessile Oak in County Wicklow is locked in a silent feud with the next village over about whose tree is taller. It’s a rivalry that has gone on for so long that nobody even remembers what started it anymore. I bet the acorns are being used as ammunition every autumn, though nobody admits to it. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Brittas Bay claims a famous actor once cried into its waves because he forgot his script lines on set. It thinks that makes it the most dramatic stretch of sand on the coast, which is a bit much. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Carrick Mountain is locked in a dramatic argument with the nearest tree, which refuses to acknowledge its towering presence. They’ve been shouting at each other since the last ice age, or so I’m told. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Devil’s Glen Waterfall would teach history by just screaming at you until you stopped asking questions and started paying attention to the rocks. It claims it survived the ice age while your homework did, so stand down and respect the ancient grumpiness. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Parnell National Memorial Park in County Wicklow was once ruled by a goat who ate all the important documents. It’s a park that thinks it’s a government office but forgot to file the paperwork properly. Bring your nan, she’ll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Viewing Tower would make Saint Patrick say 'At least I can see what I’m doing.' It has a slide in the middle that kids find faster than the view. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.