Cairnwell Burn

Explorer Tom Auchentibbert in Dumfries and Galloway has a building whose least favourite visitor is definitely anyone who wears sandals on the farm track. The ground is so muddy there that sandal-wearers make a squelching sound that just grates on its ancient nerves, causing it to creak in annoyance. It’s got that particular dislike for certain footwear that you have to respect. Bring wellies

Explorer Tom Kirkmadrine was probably built by a guy who just wanted a nice view and got carried away with the stones. He thought, 'I'll just add one more,' and suddenly he had a whole circle. It’s possible it’s ancient, which means he was definitely a busy man. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom The Kirkmadrine Stones are holding a long-term grudge against the weather because it keeps making them look like they’re dissolving into the ground slowly over time. They’re just standing there in a row, looking like they’ve been through a lot of wind and rain without complaining once yet again. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Toskerton is a village that seems to have forgotten its own name half the time, so it just goes by whatever you call it first. I’m convinced there’s a hidden treasure buried under the road, but it’s definitely just an old biscuit tin with rust on it. It has that 'we’re keeping this low-key' energy that makes tourists feel like they’ve stumbled into a secret. Bring biscuits, every good story needs

Explorer Tom Low Ardwell is basically a rumour in castle form because nobody can agree if it was ever really there or just a big pile of dirt. There’s a ditch nearby where a poet famously fell and wrote a very angry poem about his knees. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.