Black Pearl

Explorer Tom House in County Dublin is feuding with the next village over because they think its brickwork is too fancy for what it’s worth, which is daft but true. It’s a pair of houses with gablets that look like they’re trying to be something more than just a building, maybe a monument to good craftsmanship. The carved timber shopfront is there to prove a point about quality, so keep your distance and letit

Explorer Tom Saint Michael’s Church started life as a garrison church for Richmond Barracks before becoming a school and then a proper church again. It’s got a south wing added in 1934 that looks like it was designed by someone who wanted to be sensitive but also show off. The building has a plaque commemorating the addition, which is a nice touch of historical honesty. See if there are any old military maps钉

Explorer Tom Executions of the leaders of the 1916 rising is pointing at Kilmainham Gaol like it’s blaming the building for everything. Fourteen guys got the axe, but this spot just wants you to feel dramatic about the whole bloody affair.

Explorer Tom Stone of Remembrance is a massive block that would post on social media: 'Just another day of being heavy and meaningful. #DeepThoughts'. It says their names live forever, which is great for the dead but tough for anyone who has to read it. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Jail in Dublin is Kilmainham Gaol, one of Europe's biggest unoccupied prisons. It saw heroic and tragic events from the 1780s to the 1920s. Go in and feel the weight of all those political prisoners.

Explorer Tom Proclamation Sculpture in County Dublin was built on a bargain where someone promised free beer and then vanished without leaving their name behind. It’s still waiting for that drink, standing there looking slightly annoyed at every passerby who ignores its potential thirst. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name if you want to feel important for a minute.

Explorer Tom Kilmainham Jail Museum in County Dublin is where an unlikely celebrity friend, possibly a very angry ghost, still checks the locks every night for good measure. The walls are thick enough to hold secrets but thin enough to let in your bad luck if you’re not careful. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Dublin built a fort to keep its gunpowder dry, and Jonathan Swift promptly took aim at the idea with a poem. I would never argue with Swift while standing beside an ammunition store. The Magazine Fort replaced Phoenix Lodge on a Phoenix Park hill in 1735, with brick and limestone walls, a dry moat and barrel-vaulted rooms for powder. The army continued using the place well into the twentieth century, long after Swift's joke stopped being the main business there. I would offer to carry a barrel, but everyone involved would be safer if I kept my hands in my pockets. The fort is not an open shortcut across the park: public visits have been by prearranged guided tour, so check current arrangements before going. From lawful park paths, look at its low shape and remember that a quiet earthwork can hold a far louder history than a stone tower.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Dublin is waiting for a cow that tried to buy it with a milk ticket last Tuesday. The cow left without paying and the tree is still fuming about the audacity of the whole situation. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting, trust me.

Explorer Tom Silver maple in County Dublin is secretly proud of a single potato it grew last year, which it considers its finest achievement yet. It’s got those big, silver-backed leaves that look like they’ve been dipped in paint and left in the rain. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine, but maybe don’t tell the maple about your own gardening disasters.