Benthead Motte

Explorer Tom Crichope Linn is like the uninvited guest at a prehistoric wedding who keeps asking for more wine. It’s a fort, maybe a settlement, probably both, and it’s refusing to commit to just one identity. If it were a person, it’d be the one arguing about the seating chart by the river. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Knockbrack has very strong opinions on modern buildings because it thinks they’re all too straight and boring. It’s full of medieval furrows that look like a giant’s comb got stuck in the earth, which I think is just nature showing off its artistic side. I reckon it would hate seeing a skyscraper go up next to it because it likes being lumpy and irregular. Ring your granny and tell her where you

Explorer Tom Closeburn Castle was nearly sold for a horse, which would have been a terrible trade. Now it’s just a medieval tower house wondering if it got the better deal. The elusive nature is part of the charm, I think. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Morton Castle was saved by a hero nobody remembers because he was too busy hiding in the cellar eating cheese to get credit. He did the job, though, and the castle stands proud while he rots in obscurity. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.