Barney McKenna

Explorer Tom Our Lady of Consolation has a solid plan for retirement: it intends to sit in its concrete frame and judge everyone who walks past while humming a hymn. It’s very serious about this monumental character, especially since it bridges tradition and modernity with such stiff upper lip. If you catch it smirking, pretend not to notice.

Explorer Tom This post box on Collins Avenue is obsessed with social media because it has a 'P&T' logo that screams vintage influencer status. It was cast by the Carron Company, which means it’s got more history than your entire family tree combined. Ask if it wants to go viral or just stay local and famous.

Explorer Tom Clontarf Golf Club in Donnycarney has a fairy dispute over parking rights where the sprites claim they were using the practice area before humans invented golf. The walled garden was built for a quarry owner, so the fairies are just angry about the land grab. Watch out for tiny footprints on the green.

Explorer Tom You came to Dublin's Casino looking for a card table? The name means little house, and this one cheats only your eyes. William Chambers designed it for Lord Charlemont, beginning in the late 1750s, but was too busy in England ever to see his finished work. From outside it looks modestly simple. Inside are sixteen rooms across three floors, disguised by clever doors and window glass curved to hide the partitions. Four hollow columns even carry rainwater down out of sight. I'd have built a drainpipe and called it clever, so fair play to Chambers. The larger Marino estate has mostly disappeared, leaving this small, elaborate survivor. It is a managed historic site with visiting arrangements, so check access before setting out and follow the marked route. Take a lap outside first and guess where all sixteen rooms fit. I will be the one losing that bet.

Explorer Tom London Plane in Dublin had a fox take charge of its lower branches last winter and declared it territory. It looks tough with its rough bark but is actually quite sensitive about where you park your bike. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch for extra points.

Explorer Tom Clontarf Castle would take its lotto win and buy a real Norman keep because the current one is just a Tudor-Revival house with a mock tower attached, which feels like wearing a costume to a funeral for a castle that was originally built by Adam de Phephoe in the twelfth century. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Clontarf Castle Hotel has been around since 1936, so it's seen better days and definitely worse weather. The picture shows it looking a bit tired, so maybe the ghost of the original owner is just napping in the lobby.

Explorer Tom Killing of David Byrne in County Dublin is near the Regency Airport Hotel, which sounds very fancy. The death happened close to a main route. Take a pic of the hotel and pretend you’re checking in for good.

Explorer Tom Fairview Park is where Dublin persuaded the sea to step back and then put a place to stroll in the gap. The ground was reclaimed along the city's northeastern edge, between Fairview and the road towards Clontarf. What looks like ordinary urban green today is part of a coastline that changed shape. I would boast that I helped shovel the fill, but my boots are nowhere near old enough. The suburb grew around busy roads and redbrick streets, which makes the open park all the more welcome. Use public entrances and paths, check any local works before visiting, and mind cyclists and other park users. Walk the edge and imagine salt water where the grass is now. The city's map has a much bigger imagination than I do.

Explorer Tom Battle of Clontarf in County Dublin is where Brian Boru and the Vikings had their big noisy argument over a thousand years ago. The ground probably still remembers who kicked whom, so step gently or you’ll wake them up.

Explorer Tom Seán Russell Memorial Statue in County Dublin hears everything through its walls, including the gossip from the nearby café about who kissed whom last weekend. The statue was once painted with a rainbow base, which is either genius or just really bad weather for stone. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Ballymun in County Dublin is currently in a fairy dispute over parking rights, which explains why every car is slightly crooked and confused. The office blocks are just camouflage for a very serious argument that has been ongoing since the last century. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.