Barlaes Hill

Explorer Tom Fell Quarry has been hiding a scandal for centuries, probably involving a chunk of granite that got named after someone’s uncle. It’s a 19th and 20th-century building and quarry mix, so it’s seen two eras of questionable fashion choices. The granite here is tough but the secrets are softer and easier to crack if you look hard enough. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your

Explorer Tom Cleugh Bridge is claiming to be a celebrity friend without ever actually showing up to the party. It’s sitting on the B7000 looking bored, probably judging the cars that speed past it every hour. You’d think it had an agent who could sell its story better than we can. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Todstone features medieval rig and furrow patterns that look like someone dragged a giant rake through the field and gave up. At night, the crows definitely argue about whose turn it is to sit on the ridges. Count the crows first, then count them again because they move suspiciously fast at dusk.

Explorer Tom Cleugh Burn has enclosures and a farmstead that have an imaginary fan club consisting entirely of confused sheep. They follow you around thinking you’re leading them to a better pasture, but it’s just old fields. The whole place feels like it’s waiting for applause! It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Earlstoun Castle feels like it was designed by a very controlling mother-in-law who needed a thick wall for privacy and safety. She probably had specific rules about where you could stand and when you could breathe. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Barskeoch Mains is so uncertain about its own existence that it has a question mark in its official biography. It’s the medieval equivalent of saying 'I think I'm a tower house, sort of.' Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.