Auchenmalg Farm

Explorer Tom Auchenmalg would be a disaster on any reality show, trust me. The flints are too busy arguing to notice the cameras rolling. It’s all very dramatic for a place that doesn’t even have a proper name. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Longforth has an axe hammer with strict rules for visitors, mostly 'don't touch anything'. The stone is very particular about who gets to see it. It’s like meeting a celebrity who hates autograph seekers. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Auchenmalg Bay, Jetty is in a constant rivalry with a more famous harbor nearby, mostly because this one knows how to be mysterious and doesn't care about crowds. It’s a jetty with no assigned period, which means it could have been there since the dawn of time or yesterday. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Sinniness Castle has a hidden message in its stones, which I’m pretty sure just says 'please stop touching my walls.' It’s got that medieval edge to it, but also the energy of someone who’s had enough of your nonsense for one day. The name sounds like a sneeze caught in a thimble, which fits perfectly. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.