Arkleton, Birren Rig

Explorer Tom Arkleton Lochan is cultivation remains that look like someone tried to farm the hillside and then got tired halfway through the first row. It’s a ring enclosure that would be the person at a wedding who eats all the cake before the toast and apologises while licking their fingers. The lochan part suggests there’s water somewhere, but it’s probably just a puddle pretending to be a lake.

Explorer Tom Hartrith Rig in Dumfries and Galloway holds a fake world record for being the most boring 19th-century sheepfold ever documented! It’s not even trying, which is why everyone secretly admires its chill vibe. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Auldshiels Hill is being picked on by the wind because it refuses to wear a scarf. It’s a post-medieval farmstead that thinks it’s much older and wiser than it actually is. The name 'Auldshiels' sounds like a very grumpy old man who lives there. Take a breath of that air, because it’s definitely older than your car.

Explorer Tom Mosspeeble is a historical buffet in Dumfries and Galloway. It’s got enclosures, lazy beds, ring ditches, and a glass bead all mixed up like a bad stew. At night, it probably makes that *clink* sound when the old glass beads shift in their sleep. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Westerhall would give you two stars for showing up on time but three for your choice of socks, it’s that picky about its 18th-century upgrades. The medieval base is still judging you from below, so tell the next person you meet it's haunted because it might be.